Watching kids' behavior in public, I used to, at times, heavily judge their parents. "When I become a parent...," I'd think. Ha. Sometimes they are just not controllable. Then we just have to get out of the public area as quickly as possible. I've gone up to the closest grocery store employee, apologetically thrusted my nearly full cart at them and said, "Sorry, can you put this back, I've got to get her out of here." I've walked up and down on the sidewalk outside the restaurant, bouncing her on my shoulder, waiting for the people we were with to finish and come out and take us home. So anyway, for every parent who leaves their kid in the restaurant or other public space to bother others with their behavior, there ARE those of us who know that to be good citizens, we remove our kids when they can't calm themselves.
And you know what? For my daughter, this emphasis on good manners to be able to stay places is reaping its rewards now. She is 4, and for the most part she can stay quiet enough in a restaurant for a full meal. She still usually needs to take a brief walk or two with me or her father to make it through a full meal, but we've learned to settle the check early, so that we can scoot if necessary. And she knows I mean business that she can't stay if she can't have good restaurant manners. Sometimes it seems she just CAN'T have good restaurant manners, then we leave pronto, and I'm usually not even mad at her, even if I am disappointed. She'll get there.
Airplanes, though - oh man, if we adults weren't able to control ourselves, wouldn't we be fidgeting, crying, screaming, poking, clambering too? Good point about ear pain - if a kid is screaming on a plane, good chance they are experiencing big ear pain and are scared about it. Who has it worse, us who have to listen to them, or them who have to endure it?