The ORIGINAL 1000+ Posts Club

[David]

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[David]

Happy Easter to all who participate!


The Airport was rediculously quiet yesterday.   Same today as well they say.     The calm before the storm.   "Spring Break".     

Eager young men and women anxious to get south and get laid.     I'd better go get some more pat-down gloves!    He he he!

[David]

Things I've Learned from My Children.  (from Cartalk.com)

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas.

THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN (HONEST AND NO KIDDING):

A king-size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2,000-square-foot house four inches deep.

If you put hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.

A three-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20-by-20-foot room.

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh," it's already too late.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can do it only in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.

"Play-Dough" and "microwave" should never be used in the same sentence.

Superglue is forever.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. The fire department in Austin has a five-minute response time.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

[Penthesilea]

Things I've Learned from My Children.  (from Cartalk.com)


THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN (HONEST AND NO KIDDING):


When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh," it's already too late.

Superglue is forever.

You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

I can verify these ones.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

This one is hilarious 

I can add a few:

Permanent marker on brand-new window sills is truly permanent.

Chocolate pudding is no body lotion. It will not be absorbed by your skin.

A three year old can always find crayons, pens or pencils - no matter where you hide them. But a new wall decoration from time to time is not bad, is it?

[MaineWriter]

Morning all...27 degrees here, bright and sunny. This is Easter? LOL

A few other child truths:

Babies will roll off the diaper changing table, even when you are looking at them and have your hand on their abdomen.

Children will come up with words or phrases that become standard part of your family language but have no meaning to anyone else. Ever hear of a "turkey towel"? Like no, plucky. Didn't think so.

Children born in the late 80s and 90s have some sort of weird electromagnetic energy that causes batteries to lose their charge and small electronic gadgets to die before their normal expected life span. I don't even want to think about how much money I have spent on CDs players, Gameboys, iPods, MP3 players, digital cameras...

Shaving cream does not work well as a body lotion, soap or shampoo, although it does a nice job for hair sculpting. Several cans may be needed, though.

Leslie

[moremojo]

Hey, friends--

Yep, Happy Easter to all who observe. Our Sunday here in is quite cold and wet; we actually had freezing rain last night! It's most unusual to have this wintry weather so late in the spring (for these parts, that is). My late great-grandmother always used to say to expect a bit more cold before Easter, and she has proven right every year so far, including this one--even in this era of global warming!

This hibernation-worthy weather has given me a wonderful opportunity to catch up on my rest this weekend, and I had a marvellously lazy, dream-filled sleep last night. One of these dreams was not the most pleasant, but still did not impede my recuperation. This was one of my flying nightmares, and I thought it would be germane to invoke it here given our David's close connection with the world of air travel. I dreamt that somehow my family had convinced me to board a plane, alone, in order to travel to New Zealand for what I had been encouraged to regard as a wonderful visiting opportunity. I was sitting in the plane, surrounding by other travellers, while the plane was taxiing in preparation for takeoff. My anxiety was mounting, and I was feeling that I just had to get off that plane...just like Suzanne Plechette's character on that episode of 'The Bob Newhart Show'. While I was deliberating with the short amount of time I had left, I suddenly woke up. Whew!

I have these kinds of dreams every now and then, ever since I last stopped travelling by air. It's as if some part of my subconscious is determined to face the fear, even if it's only in the world of my dreams. But still can't imagine ever boarding a plane again, not in my waking life.

[Front-Ranger]

Could it be a form of claustrophobia, Scott, since you hadn't even taken off yet in your dream?? We must get to the bottom of this! Methinks you should have that dream again and force yourself to stay asleep until the plane takes off. But, why don't you make it a trip to Dallas or somewhere closer! New Zealand is a mite ambitious!!

[David]

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[MaineWriter]

Good morning all.

32 degrees here and still grey outside.

L

[Sheriff Roland]

(can you keep a secret?)

j.U.d.E. is 6 posts away from joining the 1 000 + club!

One more game on the "Do you recognize the picture?" thread and she's in - YEAH!!!