Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum

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Katness:
So I have to admit that the aspect of me being in a different time and place does change things. Which is why I deleted what I originally said to re-write what I feel as me in the here and now. I was going to delete this topic of mine all together. But realised I can't. So like I said, I'll just put how I feel in the here and now.

Yes I will admit that I'd be hurt. But I also know that you can't really change a person's natural inclinations towards one gender or the other. So as much as I would be hurt. There really would be no competition. As I couldn't give him what he needs from a man. However, I could be biased feeling that way as A) I can't really get angry at things like this, just hurt or so I like to think. B) I could have gotten into a relationship with a man myself, but as I sort of knew I was highly likely gay myself, I said no. I told him that I didn't want to be responsible for breaking his heart when it was confirmed to me that I am gay. So I will also admit that was I heterosexual then I possibly would be angry. But then looking at it from the point of view of a woman leaving me for a man. Well, yes, I can see how I could be angry.

I guess the bottom line is there are too many situations, circumstances, ways something could happen, results, reactions, chain reactions, chain results to know what one could do, would do or how they would react. I could only really say how I would ideally like to act when I think about it. But If I was in the situation, I doubt that is how I'd react.

To JudgeHolden, no disrespect taken. I fully realise each and every day that the more I read and the more I listen to people the more I still have to learn about more of life and her tricks of both mind and body and also the more I realise that a lot of it doesn't really make any sense.

Which tends to make me feel completely idiotic and dumb (and I feel like that way too often, even including now). But, I console myself from that with thinking that someone who is idiotic and dumb (I hope this doesn't make me sound self-absorbed, that is the last thing I want) possibly often isn't always willing to learn from others or by reading or researching. I however, am more then willing to learn from others, read and research, more then I need to if I feel what I have found is not adequate.

Sincerely, Kat.

tampatalon:
Kat, The way Ennis was acting at Thanksgiving which was years later, If Alma
made such an offer right after seeing the re-union kiss. Would he have listened to
this offer clear threw. I think he would have still reacted with denial, but I do
think Alma loved him enuff and was forward thinking for her time to handle the
truth in some way if she was treated honestly.

TampaTalon^">

Katness:
Well, thats true.

Thinking about things more. I wouldn't really bluntly have a conversation with him. But instead I'd drop hints about how I felt in ways that would not make his denial flare up but still make it so he could see. And show it through actions. I mean Ennis is a man of few words. And actions mixed with hints would probably go further then talking. At the same time though I would not be pressing him. Just letting him know I'm one person he can trust, should he need to.

Not saying it would work though, just that thats how I would feel.

Sincerely, Kat.

tampatalon:
I wonder how a direct approach something like this would work,
Alma to Ennis & Jack, "Are you two trying ta get your arses shot
out there by some passerby?" and then just play it off lightly and
offer them coffee. I know gay relations went on like you describe
back then cause I used ta hear "whispers" at home.

TampaTalon^">

Penthesilea:
That's a very noble attitude you express, Kat. And I think we all wished for Ennis to have somebody like this in his life.

But it's very theoretical. Because even if you were Alma and still would have an open mindset, you'd still love him and be hurt by him.
Apart from the fact that Alma herself can't grasp what's going on, she's his wife and understandably and legitimately expects him to love her back with all his heart and put all his efforts into the well-being of their family. And as much as I love Ennis, and as much as I can understand him, he undeniably partly failed in doing so.

To put it simple: she would have been a saint if she had been able to act like you described it. Where's Alma's happiness in this scenario? Where's her chance to find someone who loves her? She would sacrify it for Ennis and her kids. And I don't think this is a desirable goal for any human being.

Yes, we wish Ennis had a friend like this in his life. But it's asked too much of a wife to play that role (an ex-wife is a different matter though).

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