Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Heath Ledger Remembrance Forum
Everyone Please Read !!!
delalluvia:
--- Quote from: RossInIllinois on January 31, 2008, 08:54:20 pm ---So then what is the difference of Heaths family getting all sorts of condolences from strangers such as the one from BetterMost Forum? How can you discriminate between the two? I can't.
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I don't believe I ever said I was behind that either...
Having lost a close family member, I remember being touched by an e-mail I got from a co-worker some time after the death. He knew when I went back to work, many people would be offering me sympathy and wanting to know what happened and he believed it would be difficult for me to keep talking about it and talking about it (like Lureen in BBM) so soon after the event. So he decided to wait to offer me his sympathy.
He was right.
While I was grateful for everyone's immediate sympathy, it was difficult and very emotionally trying for me, but I couldn't exactly turn them away, now could I?
[shrug]
Like I said, just MO.
Shasta542:
--- Quote from: Shakestheground on January 31, 2008, 08:20:21 pm ---True, Heath had many friends, Jake being special to us and obvious on our radar because of the movie, because too of his absense from the fray, (good for him).
My view: do what make you feel good. If it is sending a card to Jake, do so. If it is sending flowers to Neil Bell, do so. All are positive things and the world responds well to the positive I have found. I know we have all had some emotional times of late, but please folks, let not our words toward one another become daggers. None of us will agree on everything, none of us has to do what the other one thinks we should. Read what people are saying, then decide what you think and feel.
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Agreed.
Also--a lot of the things we do when we are grieving--- we do to make ourselves feel better -- in the hopes that it also consoles those we reach out to.That sounds selfish, I guess, but I don't see it that way. It's human nature to seek comfort in times of sadness.
I know if it is something that is done as a community, then we have to come to some kind of consensus. But if you are doing something as a personal/individual outreach -- that's each person's own call.
Aside **I sent a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the address shown for Jake requesting a picture of Jake with his dogs (this was not that long after the movie had come out) and I got no reply whatsoever. I know he has "people" who manage his fan mail, but obviously they don't give attention to all of it. So--you know--how many cards would actually get through?
louisev:
--- Quote from: RossInIllinois on January 31, 2008, 08:54:20 pm ---So then what is the difference of Heaths family getting all sorts of condolences from strangers such as the one from BetterMost Forum? How can you discriminate between the two? I can't.
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we already offered that condolence in the form that strangers (and friends alike) did, in an obit notice. And it isnt about us - it's about Jake, so the fact that Jake is 'more meaningful to us' doesn't make our condolences more meaningful to HIM.
Scott6373:
--- Quote from: delalluvia on January 31, 2008, 09:05:50 pm ---
While I was grateful for everyone's immediate sympathy, it was difficult and very emotionally trying for me, but I couldn't exactly turn them away, now could I?
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Your words ring far too true and far too fresh
Brown Eyes:
--- Quote from: louise van hine on January 31, 2008, 09:11:39 pm ---we already offered that condolence in the form that strangers (and friends alike) did, in an obit notice. And it isnt about us - it's about Jake, so the fact that Jake is 'more meaningful to us' doesn't make our condolences more meaningful to HIM.
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I think maybe on this issue some of us are just going to have to agree to disagree. This probably has a lot to do with how we each understand grief... or how we would each personally like to be comforted in a time of grief. I personally do think that Jake would understand why it was significant and meaningful to receive a message of sympathy from some of his most devoted Brokeback fans. I still think it would be a lovely gesture. But, again, this may be a very personal area (understanding expressions of grief and sympathy) where arguing with one another won't get us very far.
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