stong relationships

[forsythia12]

hey, i thought i'd give this a try.  since the divorce rate is so high now, and there's thousands of break-ups everyday, i was wondering what things keep a relationship together.  i know there are lot's of components to a "good" relationship, and the options i listed are most likey of equal importance, but i was curious as to what is MOST important to you.
feel free to elaborate on your answer, or tell me what i've missed.
thanks
leigh-ann (forsythia)

[dot-matrix]

I said all of the above because I think each element is very important, but that said, I think trust is paramount.

and  "Hi" Leigh-Ann welcome to Bettermost great idea for a poll!

[opinionista]

I think relationships aren't good or bad. To me it is an experience in which sometimes you have a good time, and sometimes you don't. It depends on how you look at it. There are people who are in abusive relationships and think it is successful because they managed to stay together despite the fights, the beatings and the neglecting. And there are people who think their relationships were a failure because it didn't last eventhough they were loved, respected and had fun most of the time.

I know the general idea is that the definition of a good relationship is the one that lasts a long time. I think that is wrong. A short relationship is not necessarily a bad relationship or a failed one. I have had several relationship that didn't last for a wide range of reasons. However, I don't think they were bad. I felt loved, I had a good time, I learned something. Obviously not everything was fun, and maybe it was best if they didn't last but what matters to me is what I learned from them. Some even blossomed into wonderful friendships.

My grandparents were married 55 years. A lot of people thought theirs was an good example of a good relationship because they never divorced. I didn't think so. They practically hated each other. It was the relationship from hell. I am actually glad my mother was wiser than my grandmother and put an end to her marriage to my father before things got really bad. I know there are many people out there who are able to keep a good relationship for a long time, I am glad for them. But I also suspect that's not very common.

[Kelda]

for me its being comfortable being myself around Callum - and he makes me laugh.

[David In Indy]

Commitment. Because at some point this will be one of the few things that will keep you together. Things like sexual attraction and passion/romance often lose their fire over a period of time. Commitment is very important from the jump start of the relationship.

[delalluvia]

Trust, IMO, is the most important.  If you don't have it, none of the other qualities mean very much.

[Artiste]

I placed all of the above. And I would add much more too!!

To me, we must not forget that there are MANY DIFFERENT KINDS of relationships!!

Good thread... interesting!! May it keep on a very long time. I feel that we NEED it!!

More later... since I must rush to create my painting and do my chores too.

Hugs!!

[Brown Eyes]

Great poll Friend!  I actually picked "friendship" because I feel like that encompasses some of the other things like "respect" and "comfort."  And, the more I think about it, the more I realize that a baseline element of friendship is really crucial for me in a relationship.

[forsythia12]

thanks again for the responses everyone.
it's interesting.  most people picked comfort, trust, commitment, etc....vs. sexual attraction and passion; however, it's those things that often times lead us into affairs, once some of those elments start to fade in our current relationships.  although, sexual, or romantic elements aren't things that hold a relationship together, often it is what attracted us to that person in the beginning, and the disolusion of it can make us stray.
sometimes the "comfort" can be too comfortable.
so.......any opinions on how to keep all the elements alive ......after a long time being together?
if anyone has been in a long relationship.....how have you made it work?

[Brown Eyes]

if anyone has been in a long relationship.....how have you made it work?

This is a really good question... because I've never been in a long-term relationship.   So, I'd surely like to know.