Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
"Coming Out" as a Brokie.......
Sandy:
The reason I haven’t come out properly is because I can’t take the negative reactions. When I first saw the film, I was so overwhelmed, bewildered and exhilarated that I couldn’t think straight. I have now got some perspective and my calm thoughts have come back but the film is so personal to me that I can’t take any criticism. I feel safe discussing the issues here because I know I am in like-minded company. We might not all share the same viewpoint, but the love for the film binds us.
I have a fairly open minded, mixed bunch of friends but I tentatively stuck my toe out of the closet and knew immediately that I couldn’t really confide this in them because they just wouldn’t get it. I have thrown BBM into conversation and have actually been horrified at some of the reactions I have gotten-how can you know someone for years and not know that (for all their alleged respect for others) they are in fact a complete bigot and won’t even watch it?
As you all know, my husband has been my rock but the funny thing is that I have only recently not felt a little shy when discussing. He is upset at this because he has always backed me. I have now completely got over this and the rate at which I chatter he probably wishes I hadn’t! But, the comments here apply to him. He is not a ‘Brokie’ but liked the film. When I do (casually) chat about the film, he defends it and others (including his work colleagues) have laughed at him and slagged him off. Not cool.
Brown Eyes:
Hi Sandy!
I totally agree with you about not being able to stand criticism/negative reactions about Brokeback. I can completely sympahtize with that feeling.
serious crayons:
--- Quote from: atz75 on March 17, 2008, 10:03:51 am ---I totally agree with you about not being able to stand criticism/negative reactions about Brokeback. I can completely sympahtize with that feeling.
--- End quote ---
Me too. I'll have to say that the worst reaction I heard from anyone was kind of mild indifference or lack of sufficient enthusiasm -- no one in real life has said anything overtly homophobic to me.
But even when someone says they outright liked the movie it's not completely satisfying, because it never seems like they like it quite enough. They might say, "Yeah, that was a good movie," when what I want them to say is, "Are you kidding? Seeing it changed my life, I'm totally obsessed, I long to spend hours a day on a Brokeback website analyzing it." :laugh:
Mandy21:
Hey Kath, I agree totally with what you said. I have tried and tried and tried to get either/or of my two boyfriends to watch this with me, with no success yet. They come to my house, they see the Collector's Edition of the DVD sitting bare on top of the entertainment center (no point in putting it back in its case, I'd just have to get it out again every day to watch it), they see the postcards that came with the C.E. stuck to my fridge, they see the book "BbM, Story to Screenplay" laying by my bed, they see the wallpaper on my computer of Ennis and Jack leaning up against a truck, they know I spend hours and hours every day reading this website and IMDB's website and making friends and answering and posing questions to other Brokies. They both know all this, that this is an integral part of me. I've known one of them for 12 years, he is the love of my life and I am his, and the other one for 8 years.
But I wonder,
do they really know me at all if they can't even sit down and watch this movie with me......
Kinda scary...
optom3:
--- Quote from: atz75 on March 17, 2008, 10:03:51 am ---Hi Sandy!
I totally agree with you about not being able to stand criticism/negative reactions about Brokeback. I can completely sympathize with that feeling.
--- End quote ---
Me too in a nutshell.I dipped my toe in the water as someone here said,and was horrified by the reaction of some of my friends.With one interesting exception.My oldest "best" friend is deeply religious ad I was talking to her re BBM.She went out and rented it.And was blown away.Her reaction surprised me in a positive way.
I don't know why.I have always loved her because she embodies for me all that religion should be,tolerance,non judgemental and forgiving.She lets the way she lives her life,speak for her faith,and it has not been an easy life!!!!
She knows my life well enough to not be surprised at my reaction to BBM in fact she said,I bet that cut pretty deep!!!
Some of my so called liberal friends have been scathing in the extreme.That hurts,as does the fact that their intolerance is something that makes me look at them in a new light.It is hard to cope with criticism of BBM ,but it is equally hard to discover some friends are not the people you thought they were.That their so called tolerance and liberalism is on the surface only,almost for show,and that if you scratch the surface you find deep rooted prejudices.
I still maintain even more that it is their problem not mine.
As an interesting codicil,I was getting my daughter tested with a psychologist for gifted school this am.We arrived,me with BBM story and screenplay in hand.When he saw it he was nearly apoplectic,and told me just to put it way.This is a Jewish man whose parents were persecuted in WW2 and had to flee to the states.So he knows all about prejudice and persecution,yet his reaction was the most extreme.I thought he would of all people understand.He dismissed it out of hand.
I once thought that the people who "got" BBM would be those who knew of,had experienced,prejudice or heartbreak on some level.Now I will have to re think.
Now I think it is more simple, be open minded and open hearted.and live and let live without judgement.
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