Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum

TOTW 20/08: Ennis rejecting people close to him

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Penthesilea:
Hey BetterMostians :),

another week coming around and here is another TOTW.


But first, a big thank you to everybody who participated in the TOTW questionnaire over the last two weeks!
 :-*
Your FB and ideas are very helpful.



This week I'd like to have a closer look at the fact that Ennis keeps rejecting people close to him, people who love him and care about him.


Foremost, there's Jack who repeatedly proposes to Ennis, only to be rebuffed every time: „You gonna do this again next summer?“, prayer of thanks scene, post divorce scene, etc.

Ennis also rejects Alma: refusing to look for a better payed job, no vacations for her and the girls (story only), staying in the apartment (story only), no going out to the church social or the Knife&Fork with her and Jack, etc.

Ennis declines Junior's wish to live with him

He dumps Cassie without even telling her.


Pretty much a pattern here.


What other examples come to your mind? Why do you think Ennis keeps rejecting people?

Brown Eyes:

This is a wonderful topic (again, as usual) Chrissi!  I'll ponder this some more and surely come back and post again.

My initial response is that yes, this is absolutely a pattern with Ennis, and that it probably is a manifestation of really deeply rooted low self-esteem.  His trauma from a young age and his sense of abandonment (first by his parents who die and then by his siblings who essentially cast him out - "no more room for me."), may have led to a sense that he's not worthy of close or intimate connections.  And, maybe as a defense mechanism against rejection, Ennis makes sure to do the rejecting first.

He also seems to routinely blame the person he's rejecting... he does this with Jack (lake scene), Alma ("once burned")  and Cassie (seeming resentment over Carl... "looks like I got the message in any case").

optom3:
I think you have to be able to love and accept yourself, before you are able to fully accept someone elses love for you. I do not thnk Ennis fully accepts himself, until the very end when he discovers the shirts.
The other factor is that you need to be shown love to be able to love.I am not convinced that the young Ennis was ever shown much love, or indeed ever witnessed it.How then would he ever be able to respond to the love of anyone,difficult enough with Alma, which he would at least understand as being the "norm" but almost impossible to respond to the love of Jack.
I will go off and think some more now.

mariez:
Great questions, Chrissi!

I agree that this is a pattern.  But I would separate Ennis's "rejection" of Jack from the other examples you stated.  While it's true that some of the same factors are in play (fear of abandonment, low self-esteem) the psychological trauma he suffered at age nine when his father took him to see Earl's mutilated body is the overriding issue in that relationship that isn't present in the others.

I agree with Amanda that it is a defense mechanism against rejection. I think it's also a part of the "lesson" his father taught him about dealing with K.E. when he was six.  Get him before he gets you. 

I think abandonment is a huge issue with Ennis  - and one of many reasons why the "I wish I knew how to quit you" line was so utterly devastating to him.

I'm not sure I agree that young Ennis wasn't shown much love.  I always had the impression that Ennis was shown love by his mother.  He dredges up a memory of of his mother during the dozy embrace - a moment when he seems to act on impulse in a gentle, almost maternal manner - humming and rocking and using his mother's words.  In the ss we also see that he doesn't have a problem with saying how much he loves his girls - he tells Jack twice - once in Alma's presence and once at the motel.  Recognizing and admitting that he loves Jack - another man - that is what his mind rejects.    I do agree that he did not love or accept himself and didn't feel he was worthy of receiving love from others. 

Lots to think about...

Marie

Brown Eyes:

--- Quote from: mariez on July 28, 2008, 07:00:05 pm ---I agree that this is a pattern.  But I would separate Ennis's "rejection" of Jack from the other examples you stated.  While it's true that some of the same factors are in play (fear of abandonment, low self-esteem) the psychological trauma he suffered at age nine when his father took him to see Earl's mutilated body is the overriding issue in that relationship that isn't present in the others.

--- End quote ---

Yes, I agree that Jack presents a special case... somewhat different from the female love-interests that he rejects.  The way I'd phrase this, is that Ennis's rejection of Jack or his continual urge to push him away or hold him at arms length (but *not* under any circumstances to break up with him following the reunion) is a manifestation of really complicated internalized homophobia.  And, this homophobia that he's learned from his father and the Earl incident and which he directs at himself and Jack comes into direct conflict with his fear of abandonment and his very really and vital love for Jack.  So it's a constant tug of war for Ennis.

I absolutely agree that some of Jack's turns of phrase in the lake side argument probably really, really pushed Ennis's buttons in terms of the abandonment issue.  The "quit you" line and the "I did once" probably sent Ennis spinning into a lot of deep seated fears about being abandoned by Jack, who is pretty undeniably the most important relationship in his adult life.

Like Jack, I think the question of Ennis's rejections of Junior's desire to live with him is a special case... separate from how Ennis deals with his romantic relationships with women.

I think Junior and his rejection of Junior's urge to come live with him presents other issues, which honestly I don't fully understand.  Clearly this standoff-ishness with a child is very different from rejecting a lover (male or female).  The one clear reason why Ennis might do this is because he wants to always be free to run off with Jack, when those special opportunities come up.  And, he may be partially right, that his work really might make it impractical to try to be the primary caregiver to a teenage daughter.  But, there may be more complex, emotional reasons too.

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