OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic?

[j.U.d.E.]

This is a thread I had started on PT and JennyC was looking for it.. 
I thought I'll post it here again (with the answers) to allow others to give
their reply.

~ j U d E
[I hope it's compatible with this board..]

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - wang_jude (Fri Mar 10 2006 09:51:03 )     

Hope it's not too inappropriate of a question to ask or/and to put on the PT board.

I'm always wondering with peers my age (36) and younger, why some are still so hung up about gay/bi/lesbian people and others are not at all. What is it that makes you homophobic, or not? Sometimes I ask question and I realise that someone who's obviously not homophobic at all, at first, does have boundaries concerning the issue, when it goes further, like for instance gay/lesbian couples marrying or having/adopting children.

So what would you say? Why aren't you homophobic (assuming none of you here are! )

1: because of your own sexual orientation - gay/lesbian (would you be as 'acceptant/open' had you not been gay yourself)?
2: very open parents/relatives, liberal education (or are you non-homophobic despite your parents being homophobic - just out of Trotz!)
3: other (do share if you feel like it) (I'd include me here..)

I have hope in future generations, but I do realise, that children (not including teen-agers here, because they are a weird species anyway! ) are not spared when it comes to racist/homophobic attitudes. I'm amazed when I hear children say the most nasty things about people that are 'different'. I blame the parents/adults, but can the circle be broken?

[not easy to phrase this question right, so do apologise, if you think my question is inapt, wrong or out of place]

[j.U.d.E.]

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - nicoleross76 (Fri Mar 10 2006 10:02:00 )

It's funny - I was just thinking about this the other day. My father is fairly homophobic, my extended family is most definitely homophobic (not to mention racist for the most part). My mother is neither here nor there on the subject, I think. My friends that I grew up with (I have had a group of friends since early elementary school - we're all near thirty now and still close as ever) are not especially homophobic (would likely say not at all) but I don't know what their reaction would be if anyone in the group came out of the closet. My girlfriends all went to see BBM with me and were uncomfortable during the sex scenes. I wasn't uncomfortable at all.

I have always been super-liberal and I don't know why. Maybe it was the arguer in me - I liked to debate people on issues. I know going to university only added to my liberal views - I minored in Women's Studies and volunteered at the Women's Center which was very queer-friendly and a lot of the girls I worked with there were lesbians and we all hung out all the time (a few were wiccans and I went to a couple of really interesting events!). But, if I never hear Ani DiFranco or taste soy milk again, that is fine with me, lol! Dunno how it happened, but I'm glad it did - I'd hate to go through life as a hateful a$$hole. 

-Nicole 
Brokies of the world, unite! 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - milena-covic (Fri Mar 10 2006 10:08:37 )
UPDATED Sun Mar 12 2006 07:42:20 

I am 39, and I grew up in a rabidly racist and homophobic family (not religious at all, may I add), and homophobic country. By age 15, when I started using my own brain, I became totally rebellious, joined the nearest Anarchist goup, and I can safely say I am neither racist nor homophobe. The "colour" or "race" (sounds phoney to me) of the person I am dating is a total non-issue, and I have had same sex relationships. Needless to say, I still don't get on with my parents.

"I can resist anything except temptation". (Oscar Wilde) 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
 by - RouxB (Fri Mar 10 2006 10:15:33 ) 

Well, as a straight woman, I would never presume to say I was not homophobic-it's like those people who say "I'm not racist but...". My hope is that no one would ever perceive me as such because in my heart I try to be loving and accepting of all non-republicans.

Why? My roommate in college was one of the most opened-minded, generous, loving people I have ever met and I learned a lot from her.

One of my first boyfriends was gay-though he seems to be confused about it.

Sometimes I like girls...I don't date 'em but I sure get crushes on 'em. Oh, sounds like I'm confused as well!

"We're 'sposed a guard the sheep, not eat em." 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - Go_Jake (Fri Mar 10 2006 10:23:31 )

Well, I'm 32 and grew up in a very Conservative family. Although they never really talked about it, I always got the sense that my parents were racist when it came not just to people of other races and cultures, but of gays and lesbians as well. In fact, I went to see BBM for the second time with my mother, who liked the film, but "liked Capote better", so I'm not quite sure where she even stands on the homosexual issue.

But I was a Theatre major in college, and it was there and in work with my local Community Theater after graduation that I hung out with gay men for the first time. And, really, I never made any big deal out of it. They were nice, artistic, fun-loving, hard-working men who just happened to like other men. It never bothered me, and over the years, some of them became really good friends. Unfortunately, one of them ended up moving to Pennsylvania, and when I stopped working at the Theater (just due to lack of available time), I lost touch with a lot of them.

When it comes down to it, I'm just not the kind of person to ridicule or look down on others just because they are different, and I've always been that way. What gives me the right to think less of someone else just because they are not the same as me?

RIP Academy Awards - March 5, 2006 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - cmr107 (Fri Mar 10 2006 10:42:36 )

Good question. I'm a 19-year-old straight girl. I don't really see myself as "tolerant" because I don't see it as anything to be tolerant of. I just don't see why people care about who someone else loves. My parents are very open and liberal, but they've never really talked to me about homosexuality, so I guess this is just my own conclusion. I really support gay marriage because I think it is wrong to deprive someone of the same rights that other people have. I also support allowing gay couples to adopt kids. If we're going to go restricting who is allowed to have children, let's start with drug addicts who beat their spouses/kids. I'd much rather be raised by 2 men or 2 women who were not my biological parents but who loved and supported me than biological parents who abused me or each other and didn't love and support me. Just my opinion, and I sure hope I didn't offend anyone!

Courtney 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - Julie01 (Fri Mar 10 2006 10:44:40 )

Well, about the time I discovered Brokeback Mountain, I discovered a friend of some 26 years standing was gay...that about covers it. I wasn't but a smidge homophobic to begin with. I'm talking about deep down feelings. Not the way I "treat" people.

You're sleepin' on your feet like a horse 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - bookbabe73 (Fri Mar 10 2006 11:04:52 )

I was just thinking about this topic yesterday. My son is 6 years old, and came up behind me while I was on the computer. I had the soundtrack to BBM playing, and I was reading posts on this board. I clicked on one showing the Variety ad, and my son said "Oh mommy, that your movie!" I said , yes, that's an ad in a magazine thanking the people who made Brokeback Mountain because they did such a good job. He said "Can I watch the movie?" I said maybe when he's older, it's a grown up movie. He said "I want to see the part where they take all the sheep up the mountain. I can't figure out how they did that, our sheep are really dumb." (My inlaws have 350 sheep - my son has helped birth lambs, so he's quite interested in the whole subject). I told him maybe I'd just show him that part when I get the DVD. He said "Why is it a grown up movie? I want to watch it with you because it's your favorite." I told him it's because it has some bad words in it, and it's about two men who are really really good friends and then fall in love" . He said "Like I love Devin? (His little friend he's known since birth). I said yes, like you love Devin, and also like Mommy loves Daddy. He said, with amazement "Two boys can get married???!!!!!" So I answered, sure they can. He said "Ok, but I think I still have a girlfriend at school." and ran off to play Power Rangers in the back yard, as 6 year olds do.

So the whole point of that was, I hope I can raise 2 kids that just understand that two men or two women loving each other is just normal and happens just the same as when a man and a woman love one another, and that the idea of being "homophobic" won't even be in their vocabulary, and that will be my tribute to this wonderful film and my contribution to society.
Laura
"Well, you're goin a go where you look." - Ennis del Mar 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - ednbarby (Fri Mar 10 2006 11:05:49 )

Very well-said, Courtney. Same exact way I feel about the word "tolerance" - it implies there's something that requires tolerating. I think acceptance is better, and love moreso.

I've just never been the least little bit concerned about what people do sexually with one another. It doesn't affect the way I think of them as fellow human beings in any way. And I honestly have a hard time understanding exactly why it is that so many people get bent out of shape about it. Well, actually, I have my theories, but that wasn't the question, so I'll let that be for now.

My parents, I'm sorry to say, are/were extremely bigoted. I grew up in Western New York state - a very red part of an otherwise very blue state. Lots of white, blue-collar families, lots of rural areas, lots of dairy farmers, lots of shelter from diversity, lots of bigotry. Actually, my mother was quite sympathetic to gays. But she was also quite a racist. My father never spoke of it to me - never said a bad word about anyone in front of me, so I just assumed he was open-minded. I've only recently learned from my stepmother that he is in fact *quite* homophobic. Her closest brother was gay - he died of lung cancer two years ago. Apparently my Dad's said some things to her over the years - not particularly ugly or hateful - but in all earnestness extremely intolerant of homosexuality.

So maybe it comes from my mother (though I never picked up on her racism...). But more than likely it just comes from me. While I think that some people can have a change of heart and that there is always hope for that, I'm really starting to think that like everything else, open-mindedness and love and compassion for everyone is just part of some people's natures and not others.

I will give my parents credit, though, for in spite of their bigotry in various forms always instilling in me the importance of treating everyone the same way I would want them to treat me. I guess it's a good thing I grew up doing as they said and not as they did.

Fight the good fight every moment. Make it worth the price we pay. 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - henrypie (Fri Mar 10 2006 11:10:18 )   
UPDATED Fri Mar 10 2006 20:38:17 

Liberal parents, wonderful liberal arts education all the way (augmented by well-educated parents who love learning and taught me same by example). Sometimes I feel... guilty? ...that I didn't "overcome" any conservative influences to learn that healthcare and education and affordable housing are things everyone deserves, that poor people aren't stupid, that black people aren't lazy, that gay people aren't ill, etc. Blah blah sigh. (straight white female) Oh -- and Jews, blacks and gays have been pet-awarenesses always, due to: Dad (and whole side of family) is Jewish; Mom ... hard to explain this... has been involved in black communities since she moved to Baltimore in 1965, particularly as a musician (that covers much of the gay awareness) and a teacher. Baltimore is in fact a majority-black city. I remember in elementary school learning the word "minority" and learning that it applied to black people. I was always one of a handful of white kids at my school, so naturally it took awhile for me to absorb the greater statistics. I also thought to be Jewish was the norm. If Sammy Davis, Jr. had been one of my teachers, that would have made good sense. 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - yaadpyar (Fri Mar 10 2006 11:44:00 ) 
UPDATED Fri Mar 10 2006 20:28:39 

Fascinating thread we've got going.

I don't know what to say. I knew my interests in many, many things were different than the people around me since I can remember, and I knew I didn't want to do the dating/prom/getting married thing from the time I was very young. So I read whatever I could find about others who felt the same, and decided I must be a lesbian. So, at 16, I came out to my mother who said, "Oh. OK." I pretty much told everyone.

Only problem is that a few years later I actually had a relationship with a woman, and it hit me hard that it was NOT for me...she was a fine person, but I had no attraction to women, and quite an attraction to men, so I asked my mom for a do-over, and she graciously agreed.

Then, I had a few other relationships with men (& one who was particularly gorgeous and sexy), but still felt like something really important was missing. I finally realized that I was like a very specific group of people, and that group of people were nuns and priests and sanyasins and other religious renunciates - people who put their sexual energy into spiritual connection with G*d. I'm not Catholic, nor am I a nun, but I have made a lifelong commitment to myself (& G*d), and so am celibate.

I really consider myself spiritually married, and so sexuality just isn't a part of my relationship with people. So gay and straight and everything in between don't have much meaning to me personally, and didn't really before anyway. I want to do what I can in my life to support everyone being loved and being able to love, and that doesn't have limits of gender or sexual orientation or race or religion, etc.

Was this too personal to post here? Oh, well....

"We could not talk or talk forever." 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - delalluvia (Fri Mar 10 2006 11:52:48 )
UPDATED Fri Mar 10 2006 11:54:03 

Straight woman here.

What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?

Parents and combination of factors.

Parents are/were conservative and homophobic, but not openly. I went to grade school two blocks from the major gay part of town and so as a child, on occasion, I would see men walking hand and hand or kissing, women hugging and kissing and my mother never said anything. In fact, the only impression I got from her - and it was a VERY faint impression - was that she thought it strange. Like she would of women in Islamic cultures who wear full-length coverups.

With my ethnic background, my father wasn't about to say anything to me about people's sexual behaviors. I was being raised a 'good respectable' girl and wasn't supposed to know anything about sex.

So silence from my parents implied consent.

Team Jolie 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - amh625 (Fri Mar 10 2006 11:59:26 )
UPDATED Fri Mar 10 2006 12:00:14 

I think that's a great question, and I've enjoyed reading all the other posts. There's been a lot of talk here and elsewhere about why people *are* homophobic, but not so much about why people *aren't*.

For me the answer is #2 - I was just raised in an open, liberal household, and not that we talked about it all the time, but anything re: sexuality in general was never really taboo. I think I was about 5 when I asked my mom where babies came from, and she tried to explain to me the best she could how it really worked - granted, I didn't understand it (in fact I thought for a long time you kept your clothes on!), but she never really felt it necessary to not put the "facts" out on the table.

When my mom was younger she worked in theatre, so she was always gay friendly too. But my first exposure to the concept was probably in the late 1970s when the TV show "Soap" becamse popular - for those who remember, it was quite controversial at the time, partly because it featured an openly gay character (played by Billy Crystal). I was only about 8 years old (I'm 35 now), and Thursdays were the only night of the week I was allowed to stay up past 9 p.m. because my parents loved the show and I wanted to see it too! (Plus I went to Catholic school - imagine trying to explain that to your friends in third-grade the next day - ha!). So basically the idea of homosexuality was never shielded from me, and while I knew it was different (just based on numbers and societal norms), it was never made out to be "wrong".

Anyhow, since then three of my oldest and closest friends from high school and college have come out (they were not out when we first became friends). And I never thought they were gay before they told me, even if other people had. I joke that for having as many close gay friends as I do, I have the worst gaydar in the world. But I think the truth is that I just don't even think about it - you're a person, and whatever you say you are I believe you unless you tell me otherwise. I never sought out gay people specifically to befriend, I just think in my case sensitive souls seek out sensitive souls.

So to me it's so simple. And I guess that's why I continue to be so floored that so many people don't feel the same way. First the overwhelming votes banning gay marriages in 2004 (which shocked me - including my own fine state of Ohio - oh, the naivite!) and now all that we've witnessed over BBM, a beautiful, devastating movie about true, pure love.

"I'm not going to wait for the world to be perfect to make movies." -- Ang Lee 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - purplemonkey131 (Fri Mar 10 2006 13:18:59 )

I've always seen people as 3-dimensional. You never know what a person is going through, or has gone through. You never know why people do what they do and knowing that has just made me a very open person. I'm surrounded by so much ignorance. I think we all are. When I was growing up, I always felt very disconnected from the world. I was never able to get very close to people and I think that's why I wasn't able to easily be brainwashed by society's "values". My family members are the typical christians. They grew up in church and all feel homosexuality is a sin and it's wrong although they never forced or much shared their opinions with me. I was also exposed to racism, homophobia and a lot of other forms of bigotry when I was very young, whether it was on television, in the movies, or real life. I was able to be like this is what's going on and it's not right. I don't want to be a part of that. I don't want to be like that.

"There's only two people I trust...one of 'em's me and the other isn't you."

Was this too personal to post here?   

[j.U.d.E.]

Re: Was this too personal to post here?
by - ray-390 (Fri Mar 10 2006 15:30:08 ) 
UPDATED Fri Mar 10 2006 15:30:40 

Stunning story. The wonderful part about this board and our family of Brokies is just that, it has become a family. To share something truely personal here is to show respect for, and be respected by people we haven't even met, but who have become so familiar and supportive that we want to give them our inner selves. In another thread I commented on the beautiful diversity we share as a group and how our differences add to a loving community rather than create predjudice. "A blue print for world peace." Given we have the safety net of cyber anonymity, it is easier to pour or hearts into a keyboard, and we may not feel as comfortable revealing our soul in a physical world, but as we come to know each other better, I believe we share an understanding that it is the soul by which we will ulitamtely judged not the limitations of superficial characteristics. This family, with all it's physical differences does not judge nor ridicule. That's why nothing seems too personal, and nothing seems too frightening. I would love to share some cherry cake one day with each and every one of you, but even if I never get that chance, I thankyou for baring your souls.

~ Singles Dances? I thought we were dating! ~/ 

Re: Was this too personal to post here?
by - yaadpyar (Fri Mar 10 2006 15:35:46 )

Thanks for the support, ray. You articulated my own thoughts beautifully.

"We could not talk or talk forever." 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - Ellemeno (Fri Mar 10 2006 15:43:46 )
UPDATED Fri Mar 10 2006 15:47:06 

Laura, my near-3 year old also talks about my movie and about Ennis and Jack. "Are they sad?" is something she has asked several times, looking at the dozy embrace pictures. respectful of each other's opinions, glad to have a companion where none had been expected 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
 by - Ellemeno (Fri Mar 10 2006 16:12:34 ) 
UPDATED Sat Mar 11 2006 01:43:47 

I don't know - my whole life, since being tiny, the concept of fairness has always been hugely important to me. Also the concept of diversity, though that word for it is relatively new. What's that quote about "there is more something something Horatio, than something something dream of?" (Does anybody know the quote I mean?) UPDATE Our lovely hostess on this thread, wang_jude, found the quote! "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." -- From Hamlet (I, v, 166-167) (I couldn't remember the quote, but I knew it applied.)

Having been born in 1959 and growing up in Manhattan, the women's movement in the 70s shaped my sense of self hugely (thank God et al). And the slogan "We are everywhere" made a deep, positive impression on me.

I don't ever seem to want to answer questionnaire-type questions about my sexual orientation, because the box I would check doesn't exist on any questionnaire I've ever seen. None of the typical descriptions tell my whole story. Ever since my early twenties, it seems like about half my women friends are lesbians.

But honestly, I have had some of my (not homophobia, but rather) homo-ignorance dissolved on these two boards, mostly by listening to flashframe77 and spookyrabbitindayard, both of whom I love.

I've just spent about 20 minutes typing, deleting, reinstating, rearranging these words, and I am quite unsatisfied with what I have managed to verbalize. I want to just delete it because it's so incomplete, not tied up in a closure bow. But here I go, pressing Post Reply.

respectful of each other's opinions, glad to have a companion where none had been expected 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - yaadpyar (Fri Mar 10 2006 16:21:39 )

Elle - Thanks (can't begin to help with the quote). All the thoughtfullness behind it is apparent; glad you hit the post button.

"We could not talk or talk forever." 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - valerie_lp (Fri Mar 10 2006 17:25:15 ) 
UPDATED Fri Mar 10 2006 18:53:42 

Like delalluvia, I thought the silence from my parents implied consent. (Quitaque consentire!) When I was in high school, the bestseller among us girls was The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer, and there was a scene where she had sex with a woman. I thought it was hot. Every single one of my girlfriends thought it was disgusting, and said so loudly, so therefore I (I was 15, please remember) pretended I did too.

I liked boys a lot, so I wasn't worried I was gay, but always thought maybe one out of 100 girls in my high school was sexy too (as opposed to one out of every 10 boys). Then I went to a VERY liberal liberal-arts college, where my roommate was a lesbian. And going straight into grad school/higher ed in departments with enormous queer studies departments made it seem 100% normal to me.

And my parents have no idea when I got so "liberal." If they only knew. 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
 by - wang_jude (Fri Mar 10 2006 19:37:08 )     

Wow! Very interesting replies. I wasn't even sure whether to ask this question or not, but now I'm happy I did!
****
Amh625, you say you had very liberal parents and upbringing. What was their reason to put you in a Catholic school? Not that it_s wrong, of course, but I find the combination interesting [I_m probably being offensive, asking this.. sorry, but I don_t know how to phrase it better].
****
purplemonkey131 - When I was growing up, I always felt very disconnected from the world. I was never able to get very close to people and I think that's why I wasn't able to easily be brainwashed by society's "values".
****
That so totally makes sense to me!
****
ray-390 - In another thread I commented on the beautiful diversity we share as a group and how our differences add to a loving community rather than create predjudice.
****
Exactly, Ray! If we were all the same, this world would be so boring and bland! I_m not saying it_s easy every day, but it_s a challenge and so damn fascinating!
****
Ellemeno - my whole life, since being tiny, the concept of fairness has
always been hugely important to me. Also the concept of diversity
****
This totally rings a bell! I probably wasn_t fair all the time, with everyone and I_m still not. But I_m trying. In any way, I always gear towards the underdog..

"..it would be a sweet life.." - [J. Twist - BBM] 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - henrypie (Fri Mar 10 2006 19:47:31 )

Clarissa,
Has the Horatio quote anything to do with Hamlet?

Celeste (and everyone),
Thanks for sharing. I love this thread. 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - wang_jude (Fri Mar 10 2006 20:09:19 )     

A bit more of my number 3: -
****
Yaadpyar - I don't know what to say. I knew my intersts in many, many things were different than the people around me since I can remember
****
That_s sort of true for me too (although probably on a entirely different level than yours). I remember back in Kindergarten there was this kid that _ I believe _ was mentally challenged (nobody had told us anything). He would have a tiny toy and in recess he would put it on the floor and jump around it and make very weird noises. Fascinated by it, I watched this child for ages. Not quite sure why [now, thinking about it, I assume this child was autistic _ hence maybe, my odd attraction to Autism]. When I was older (10-13) in my neighbourhood there was this adolescent girl that had a physical and mental handicap. We had her play with us all the time and she would participate in all the games as much as she could. I remember her still today, but none of the other kids. And the list goes on.. In school when everybody would have their ears pierced, started smoking or followed the latest fashion, I would do exactly the opposite. Not that I was trying to be brighter or more intelligent, but I kind of nurtured the fact of thinking/acting different compared to other children. We were a very small bunch of _outsiders_ but I made sure that the _trendy_ kids would have no reason to bully me and they never did. I liked them and got along with everyone, but I was on a different track somehow.

I have been thriving on differences for as long as I can remember. Odd fascination. Maybe it_s because I had parents from two different countries (two different languages) and was born in yet another. Having been from a very early age, the only one(!) in Kindergarten/school with divorced parents. Yes, it_s true. It changed a bit later on. My mother was frantic that kids in school would bully me for being different. I did not care being a divorcee child! Nor did it had any effect on other kids! (I still believe today, that my parents divorcing so quickly, was the best thing they could have done). My mother having grown up in _faithless_ Communist Germany, would insist on me following Protestant classes (one out of the two compulsory religion classes - the other being Catholic), because she worried I would be too different (again) from my classmates, who were all in one of these courses (except for those very few who had the permission from their parents to follow _morale_ class). She would also dwell on the fact that one important part of education was to travel, but not only for fun purposes, but also to learn things. I guess, all this opened my mind a bit.

Like I said earlier, I have always been interested in _the other_. For some reason (known to me) I have very early on been hmm.. let_s say captivated by gay people. I remember being 14, in Egypt on a Nile cruise and one of the guides being very obviously gay (I guess I have a working gaydar) _ I was infatuated with him and he sensed it, but it was no use, obviously (me being a straight woman). Anyway, around the same time I stayed up late without permission, when home alone, to watch movies by Luchino Visconti, which fascinated me (practically all of them being gay-themed). Had I asked any other girl from my class about Visconti or the content of his films, they would have looked at me in bewilderment, I_m sure, not knowing what I was on about!  In school we were reading "Felix Krull" (by Thomas Mann) and to me it was very obvious that the main character (Felix Krull) was attracted to and attracting people from both sexes. When the teacher asked something to that effect and I answered that yes it was so, the rest of my classmates were loudly disagreeing..

I did not feel strange about this. Had any classmate or same-aged friend challenged me on this, I would have ignored them or let them make fun of me. What_s weird, is that my parents are both a bit homophobic and a bit racist_ It probably comes with their age and the historical part of things, but they are not very consistent. Especially my father. I mean, both my parents left their respective countries and never moved back there (and never will). So they are both _foreigners_ where they live now and still they manage to have arguments/comments which are not entirely _politically correct_ towards other foreigners. Weirder even, my father is now re-married with a Muslim woman from Northern Africa (which is cool, because she helps me with my Arabic sometimes, which I_m trying to learn), but I remember times, when he had nothing good to say about other foreigners in a country that isn_t even his own.

On the BBM board in January I posted the following (it_s truncated):
****
[..] As tolerant as I believe myself to be, I know it's constant work to actually remain true to my 'beliefs'. But, and without oversimplifying it, I think that anything is acceptable as long as everyone involved is consenting and nobody gets hurt _ be it physically, mentally or morally!

[..] As long as there is honesty and less/no hypocrisy _ [..] _ and everyone is willing to open up, be flexible about things or people that are 'different' and willing to _ [..] - teach/promote/spread/enable tolerance, love and understanding, then I think this earth could enjoy itself much more and unite in its diversity.
****
Oh no! Now I must stop! I_m rambling! Sorry for syntax errors and crap writing _ I_m no good at it during normal hours, but it_s definitely worse at 5am!

Thanks everyone and good night!

"..it would be a sweet life.." - [J. Twist - BBM] 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
 by - wang_jude (Fri Mar 10 2006 20:18:47 )     
UPDATED Fri Mar 10 2006 20:23:44 
****
Yes, it's Hamlet. I Googled -

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." -- From Hamlet (I, v, 166-167)

Hamlet speaks these lines to his friend Horatio. The sentries who keep night watch over the castle at Elsinore have seen an apparition of the ghost of the late king of Denmark, Hamlet's father. Although Horatio pleads with the ghost to speak to them, it refuses and disappears at morning light. Horatio tells Hamlet about it the next night, believing that the ghost will only speak with his son. Hamlet goes off with the ghost, where he learns that his father was murdered by his own brother, Claudius, who has now taken the crown for himself. When Hamlet returns to Horatio, who expresses his bewilderment over the apparition, Hamlet points out that ghosts speaking, and brothers murdering, and wives remarrying may exist outside the moral framework of the average man... but that these things occur in the real world.

http://www.enotes.com/shakespeare-quotes/275

"..it would be a sweet life.." - [J. Twist - BBM] 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - yaadpyar (Fri Mar 10 2006 20:31:15 )

w-jude - thanks for getting this started. Can't wait to read the next one. Nice work also on the colors for "Googled." You've set a new standard for marking-up text.

"We could not talk or talk forever." 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - Ellemeno (Sat Mar 11 2006 01:45:57 )

>> Has the Horatio quote anything to do with Hamlet?

Yes, thanks, henrypie, and wang_jude found it!

respectful of each other's opinions, glad to have a companion where none had been expected 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - Ellemeno (Sat Mar 11 2006 01:47:53 )

Wow, that feels like the nicest gift! Thank you so much. Group hug! 

(In real life I actually loathe group hugs, but here, what the hey!)

respectful of each other's opinions, glad to have a companion where none had been expected 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - vkm91941 (Sat Mar 11 2006 02:30:20 )

Well...my immediate family, Mom, Dad and 4 Brothers have always been very liberal and open minded. We were all raised to believe that there were 2 commandments, Love GOD and Love your neighbor as yourself. That meant everyone. We were as good as anyone and better than no one. If you did this everything else would fall into place. My cousin is gay he lives in the Silverlake district in Los Angeles and all my life he has spent his holidays with us and always felt free to bring his friends along. When I went to college, my first year I meet a woman who pursued me, I experimented some with her and came to the realization that women didn't do it for me...My second year I meet a wonderful man, who is still my friend to this day and is god father to my youngest. He's gay and is the person who introduced me to gay fiction when he gave me The Front Runner to read. So I guess it just never occured to me that I should feel any other way. I mean sexuality is such a small part of our identity as people it really should not matter.

Victoria M
Forget about what you thought you were and just accept who you are 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - promethius99 (Sat Mar 11 2006 07:18:23 )

I want to say that getting mad with homophobics is not helping with anything, ignorance is the underlying evil, always take the high road....one day society will change. 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - vkm91941 (Sat Mar 11 2006 10:10:27 )

That is something I pray for everyday.
Victoria M
Forget about what you thought you were and just accept who you are 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - BannerHill (Sat Mar 11 2006 10:52:13 )

I grew up in a Quaker, knee jerk liberal home environment. My parents were active members of the Civil Rights movement.

My mother was a charming story teller and the sort of person people gravitated to, in an 'Aunti Mame' sort of way. Our home was frequently resembled an intellectual salon. Gay men and women were frequent visitors.

Not surprisingly, I ended up somewhat less liberal.

"Hey Ennis, do you know someone named 'Jack'?" 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - spottedreptile (Sat Mar 11 2006 12:06:48 )

Does anyone remember the book Twins (it came out as a movie called Dead Ringers) - well I bought this when I was an early teen, I saw it in the bookshop and the title kind of appealed to me. I didn't read it when I got home but my mum did. Later she came up to me and said "I hope you don't go and do anything like these two dreadful men did. Homosexuality is dirty and a sin."

Well, of course I read the book immediately! Plus I was at that age when you can't stand anything your mum says or does, so it stirred up my rebellious spirit and from then on I got quite interested in why it was so 'sinful' - and found out about gays the way most kids do - talked about it at school etc.

But I've always had an interest in slash, ever since I was about 8, when I watched The Man from Uncle, which is weird, but there you go.

My sister is in a gay relationship now and I find some of her stories about prejudice, even in the 21st century, a bit eye-opening. It's never occurred to me to see homosexuality as anything sinful, it's always seemed to be just another form of love, and for the life of me I can't understand to this day why people get so upset about it, apart from what others have drummed into their heads. Oh well. 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - promethius99 (Sat Mar 11 2006 12:36:41 )

I don'teven think about it tbh, live and let live eat drink and be merry lets get ice cream 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - kelda_shelton (Sat Mar 11 2006 14:43:52 )

It's interesting reading all these posts and I'm not really sure how I ended up so 'liberal' - I guess it was the norm and I've never thought so much of it.

My Mum isn't an activist or anything of the sort. And she never came out and said to me at a young age - being homophobic or racist is wrong Kelda, but I guess she instilled in me in some way that its not fair to make judgements on the way people lead their life.

She was a single parent and a working class one at that. I was a clever little one at school and I guess I wanted to make my Mum proud of me so I was a liberal little soul too - although I think that was involuntary really - it just sorta happened. I've always been the sort to stick up for myself and make my views heard - ie My Mummy is a great Mummy and it doesn't matter that I don't have a Daddy cos she's good enough to be both. I was kinda an odd-bod child. Pretty clever and articualte child but from an obviously poorer background than the other clever kids in my class, and I guess I was a tough wee thing to 'make up' for that.

Interestingly, my Mum's best friend from school (I call her my aunty), who she still keeps in good conatact with to this day, has lived in Canada since they were like 25 and for a good 20 years she has been living with a woman.

But she has never actually announced to my Mum that she is gay. I'm making a presumption here I suppose, because maybe - just maybe - she isn't gay. I mean - my Mum has never been able to afford to make it out to Canada so she can't see their living arrangements, but the holiday together, my aunt is the woman's carer when she has been ill, they send and recieve emails/christmas cards/birthday cards as xx & xx. And I asked my Mum recently, have you never asked aunty if she is gay, in all this time? And my Mum just said, I've never really thought about asking her outright, and I can hardly ask her now after all these years can I!?

sorry, I blabbered on much more than I intended to!!

BBM-aholic! See..www.revelationtees.spreadshirt.com (& .net!) 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - wang_jude (Sat Mar 11 2006 18:31:15 )     

****
My Mum isn't an activist or anything of the sort. And she never came out and said to me at a young age - being homophobic or racist is wrong Kelda, but I guess she instilled in me in some way that its not fair to make judgements on the way people lead their life.
****
Kind of the same here. It was implied in certain things she did or said (or didn't say), I guess. Although, I wrote in an earlier thread that both my parents are a bit homophobic and a bit racist and I know I would never be able to have a lasting discussion on gay/lesbian marriages or adoption with my father, because it would very possibly end in a fierce argument. But my mother (75 years old - she had me late ) did, for example, sublet her attic to a gay man for a while once and come to think of it, I never ever heard her say anything nasty (..I use this word a lot now for some reason..) about homosexuality. I've never prompted her on the issue, but I think the 'topic' isn't even 'worth discussing' if I may say so. She has been through enough stuff in her life (WWII, father deported, Communism [my mother is from former Eastern-Germany], divorce [never bad-mouthing my father for cheating and leaving her], single parent to two kids) and I just feel that the 'gay issue' isn't actually an issue for her.

In the same way did she 'inadvertently' teach me openness, I guess. Without really discussing homophobia/racism much openly, I understood that it wasn't anything to get mad/sad at. Being German, having experienced WWII first-hand, telling me how her Jewish class-mates suddenly 'disappeared', taking me to a concentration camp, having a long-lasting Jewish friend (who went through hell), having lived with an old Jewish painter-lady for a while, before getting her own place etc. - no wonder when I told my mother about 13/14 years ago that I'd love to go to Israel on holiday, she did not surprise me, when she said she always wanted to go too! And we did! I've been to Israel 3 more times since and like New York, it is a place where I'd go back again and again!

So, now, I actually just converted my mother into a very liberal person (well, with limitations, but they are understandable), albeit not a very obvious/talkative one! Maybe she is a closeted Lesbian. What?! Wait! Did I just write this?! Hmm.. I'm trying to think of some clues.. Married late, really only wanted one child (my sister), but my father insisted, wanted a boy, getting me instead.., divorcing my father, never in another relationship except one very short one.. Hmm.. 

I'm a bit embarrassed.. You know my whole story now.. I might delete some of that stuff later.. 

"..it would be a sweet life.." - [J. Twist - BBM] 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - wang_jude (Sat Mar 11 2006 18:45:37 )     
****
w-jude - thanks for getting this started. Can't wait to read the next one. Nice work also on the colors for "Googled." You've set a new standard for marking-up text.
****
>> Has the Horatio quote anything to do with Hamlet?
Yes, thanks, henrypie, and wang_jude found it!

UPDATE Our lovely hostess on this thread, wang_jude, found the quote! "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." -- From Hamlet (I, v, 166-167) (I couldn't remember the quote, but I knew it applied.)
****
Ooops! Did not see these! Thank you Celeste and Clarissa (hey, this sounds like you could be in some ethereal group together)!

Please call me Jude 

"..it would be a sweet life.." - [J. Twist - BBM]

[j.U.d.E.]

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - monimm18 (Sat Mar 11 2006 19:34:45 ) 

****
I'm a bit embarrassed.. You know my whole story now.. I might delete some of that stuff later..
****
LOL! Wang Jude, how wonderful to read all those bits and pieces about you and your mom.
****
Funny, there's a lot of similarities between your mom and mine. My mom had me late in life too, she never remarried and never had another relationship after my dad died. I don't think she had any lesbian tendedncies (in her family most people have this passionate nature, they fall in love for life, kinda like swans, must be some strange gene, or some emotional handicap...), but funny, her brother, my uncle, seems to me a completely closeted homosexual. Married, with one child, his relationship with his wife always seemed just a camaraderie type one, and I heard her complain since I was a kid that he is not interested in having sex with her. My uncle lived a lonely life, emotionally, but I don't think he even realized why, and until recently, I never suspected this either.

As for my own non-homophobia I have no merit in it. None of my parents or friends ever made disparaging remarks on any issue, race, ethnicity, religion, etc., so, in a way I grew up free from that subtle indoctrination.

I was born and raised in Eastern Europe, in a communist regime. The laws against homosexuality were so incredibly harsh, that I think gay people must have lived burried deep in the closet, marrying and raising a family, some never even realizing their true nature, because they lived in a world where homosexuality virtually didn't exist. I am realizing all this in hindsight. When I lived there I never gave this issue a thought, because I never met or knew of anyone who was homosexual. I knew of homsexuality, but it was kinda like something happening in another world. The very few derogatory comments I heard on the subject growing up, came from people whose intellect I didn't respect, so they had no influence on me. I read a few books that touched the subject, but always in a negative way. Since I was taught to always take any publication or issue supported by the communist regime with a big grain of salt, the books had no effect on me.

Ironically, another thing that kept homophobic indoctrination away from me was the fact that the communist regime barely tolerated religion. No Sunday school for me, nor any masses to attend. My parents were not religious, dad was an agnostic, mom is a believer, but has issues with organized religion, doesn't read the Bible and has her own private relationship with the guy upstairs. Therefore, I was spared the instillation of any judeo-christian concept that teaches intolerance.

For all thses reasons I firmly believe that homophobia is a learned response, never a natural one.

My mom still lives there. She loves a good film, and she sat through hours of phone conversations while I talked about Brokeback Mountain to her (she was my first, my most enduring and my most enthusiastic victim of my venting episodes). Finally, she said with a sigh: "I wish I could see it too." I am planning to take the DVD with me when I visit her in fall.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - canwest (Sun Mar 12 2006 01:21:56 )

Here is my 2 cents.

1) I always loved art: music, movies, paintings etc.

Little by little it started turning out that many people that I admired for their art are homosexuals: Piotr Chaikovsky, Freddi Mercury, Rudolf Nureev, Tennessee Williams, Oscar Wild...

I came to conclusion that homosexuality goes hand by hand with a great talent for art.

2) I was bullied at school for being different: not very social, very shy, always trying to get the best results (this was not something good at my school at my time). Growing being jewish in communist Russia, I always felt discrimination and always felt a shame for who I am (jewish).

So I could always symphatise with anybody who is oppressed just for being different and actually being truly self.

3) I'm not religious and I think that what helps me to be free of any prejudices. And it seems so weird to judge people by their sexual preferencies. It's almost the same as to hate people with certain names, something that they can't choose and doesn't describe them as a human beings.

But I felt uneasy seeing gay people on TV,movieks etc: they always been described as so strange looing and behaving... not talking about showing their love to each other. That's where Brokeback Mountain hit me...

The last bastion fell down, and I'm very grateful that it happened. 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - yaadpyar (Sun Mar 12 2006 02:50:41 )

Hi canwest -

Interesting post. Are you still in Russia? What is the culture like for you now?

Don't think I've seen you here before. Welcome. Tell us a bit about yourself -pull up a chair and visit with us for a spell. Want some coffee, don't ya? Piece a cherry cake?

The Lord loves you just the way you are, but He loves you too much to let you stay that way. 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - skinheadskippy (Sun Mar 12 2006 04:29:12 ) 

I list many factors: Arts and literature, going to the clubs and parades, being brought up in an open-minded, intelligent home...but one of the most important factors has been my best friend, whom i've known since we were six years old. He came out to me three years ago, though we joke that I knew he was gay before HE did - I spotted it earlier! He is the one constant in my life...he is unconditional in his love, he is there when nobody else is, and we would sacrifice our own lives for ten minutes' extention of the other's. I was already gay-friendly before him, but his friendship strengthened my homophilic convictions ten-fold.

--
I brought him in last week - drunk and disorderly. But when I sobered up, he'd gone. Sorry. 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - wang_jude (Sun Mar 12 2006 05:05:21 )     

skinheadskippy, I had goosebumps reading your message. Not sure why. I wish I had a friendship like that.

"..it would be a sweet life.." - [J. Twist - BBM] 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - canwest (Sun Mar 12 2006 09:57:06 )

Hi yaadpyar,

I'll drink a coffee, but not cake, thank you..

I'm a straight female, 41 y.old.

I left Russia in 1990 (actually it was Ukraine) and lived in Israel for 8 years.

Now I live in Calgary, Alberta (since 1999).

I know that Brokeback Mountain will be showing in Russia since mid-March.

Russia is very homophobic country, thanks to communist regime and very un-civilized (culturally) population (even in a big cities).So I guess it will be difficult for film admirers to talk about it, all discussions will probably go to Internent, this is the only free (not controlled) resource now in Putin's Russia.

Recently I found brokeback forum in Russian and here we go...people obsessed exactly in a way as we are.. Writing their life stories, discussing everly little pieces from the film..

I'm so happy for them!

P.S. About your on-liner: I saw Junebug too and loved it! 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - yaadpyar (Sun Mar 12 2006 10:21:39 ) 
UPDATED Sun Mar 12 2006 10:21:50 

canwest - what a journey for you. My family is from Beloruse (sp?), but left in the '30s, and those that didn't leave, were all killed. I'm amazed at how universal the impact of this film is - from Russia to India to Australia to the US, and on and on and on.

Thanks for the Junebug nod - I used to live in the south, and it looked and felt exactly like the movie, which may be why I didn't care for it much, but I loved that line. I'd never heard it before but a recovering hard core Christian friend of mine tells me lots of folks say it.

Don't know how you found this message board, but nice to have you here.

The Lord loves you just the way you are, but He loves you too much to let you stay that way. 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - sunmoonstars-1 (Sun Mar 12 2006 10:22:19 ) 

Hi, Celeste... Not sure if you got your PMs or not...

The greatest gift is one that inspires others to give their greatest. 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - canwest (Sun Mar 12 2006 10:36:09 ) 

How I found this board..

I noticed that all the names whith the posts I loved the most disappeared from the main board.

Couldn't find an explanation.

Then I saw Victoria's post recently (on the main board), went to her profile... and what the heck! all her recent posts are from Pierre board.

I realized that this is because of ocean of throlls messages and simply went here..

I loved 'secret handshake' post so much! I've got it too (in a way)! 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - Ellemeno (Sun Mar 12 2006 10:50:33 ) 

Moni, canwest, yaadpyar, everybody,

I love you.

respectful of each other's opinions, glad to have a companion where none had been expected 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - vkm91941 (Sun Mar 12 2006 10:58:23 ) 
UPDATED Sun Mar 12 2006 10:58:57 

Wow canwest, I am so honored that you followed my trail of bread crumbs back here! Welcome and thank you so much for sharing your VERY interesting story with us.

Victoria
The world is what you make of it, friend. If it doesn't fit, you make alterations 

by - vkm91941 (Sun Mar 12 2006 11:01:11 )

Wow (my new favorite word this morning) skinheadskippy that was such a lovely touching post. Brought tears to my eyes.

Victoria
The world is what you make of it, friend. If it doesn't fit, you make alterations 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - yaadpyar (Sun Mar 12 2006 11:49:05 ) 

Oh, Elle - the feeling is completely mutual!

The Lord loves you just the way you are, but He loves you too much to let you stay that way. 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - skinheadskippy (Sun Mar 12 2006 14:34:17 ) 

It's funny...every time i've wished for unconditional love in my life, our friendship has magically strengthened. And, well, I love him to bits!

--
I brought him in last week - drunk and disorderly. But when I sobered up, he'd gone. Sorry. 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - canwest (Mon Mar 13 2006 01:44:40 )
UPDATED Mon Mar 13 2006 01:44:57 

Thank you Victoria.

I'm happy to be here. 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - ray-390 (Mon Mar 13 2006 02:46:59 ) 

Hey Skinny. I'm from the Gong. No significance, just thought I'd tell you!

~ Singles Dances? I thought we were dating! ~ 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - skinheadskippy (Mon Mar 13 2006 04:02:35 ) 

The Goooong! You're in the same state, so it's still important! Yippee!

I visited about six years ago. My most recent contact with the 'Gong was when I was doing publicity for Jon Stevens' 2004 album. I'd love to drop in again sometime soon! 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - ray-390 (Mon Mar 13 2006 04:16:17 )

I'm now in Brisbane, but the Gong is where the better part of my youth is buried. From Steel City to Sydney, and then to 'beautiful one day, perfect the next' a couple of years ago.

Jon Stevens huh?! Arrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.., slurp!

~ Singles Dances? I thought we were dating! ~ 

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - skinheadskippy (Mon Mar 13 2006 04:34:21 )
UPDATED Mon Mar 13 2006 04:34:42 

Woah - i'm holidaying in Coolangatta at the moment! Only a matter of k's away.

I've promised many Jon-slurps for fans - i'll add yours to the ever-growing list.  

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - ray-390 (Mon Mar 13 2006 04:37:12 ) 
UPDATED Mon Mar 13 2006 04:39:20 

If you get time to hit Surfers give me a yell and I'll come down for a bevy or eight.

~ Singles Dances? I thought we were dating! ~

[JennyC]

Jude,

Thank you, thank you, thank you!   

You know how much I appreciate this.

[tiawahcowboy]

Oh, as far back as I can remember I have almost been an androphile.

I never actually knew that I knew anyone who might be a homosexual until I was in college in the early 1960s. And, I had no problem being friends with them; because in reality, some were even popular while on campus. Those "some" folks were involved in the college theatrical productions and I was, too. I just did not act like they did. During my Junior Class year, the "Au-Gu-R-Du-Lo" drama club and the National Honorary Dramatic Fraternity held a talent as a fundraiser and it was open to students to participate. I was in the drama club (got in the other later) and when the talent judges were tallying up the votes, 5 us did an all male comedy skit based on "Romeo and Juliet." Romeo was played by a slim guy and Juliet was a large man (he was the only one of us who did not live on campus). My purpose was to be there for scene changes and my costume was more or less unisex and I tossed rose petals around. The other 4 of us had been friends since we were Freshmen and lived on the same floor in the dorm. None of us even thought of ourselves as homosexuals; we were just guys who knew how to act like "queens" on stage.

My closeted roomie, Darrell, during my Sophomore year and Junior Year, was a friend with the other 4 guys, too. We did not find out that each other was gay until Sep. '86.

I was not raised to be homophobic in the first place; although I was in denial of my exclusively homosexual by sexual orientation until after I was 41 years old. We were just taught not to judge people.

Oh, as far my feelings toward myself were concerned I had a combination of both homophobia (fear of the same) and heterophobia (literally, the fear of being different) until after I left the closet.

[opinionista]

This is a thread I had started on PT and JennyC was looking for it.. 
I thought to post it again (with the answers) to allow others to give
their reply.

~ j U d E
[I hope it's compatible with this board..]

OT - What/'who' made you non-homophobic (homophile)?
by - wang_jude (Fri Mar 10 2006 09:51:03 )     

Hope it's not too inappropriate of a question to ask or/and to put on the PT board.

I'm always wondering with peers my age (36) and younger, why some are still so hung up about gay/bi/lesbian people and others are not at all. What is it that makes you homophobic, or not? Sometimes I ask question and I realise that someone who's obviously not homophobic at all, at first, does have boundaries concerning the issue, when it goes further, like for instance gay/lesbian couples marrying or having/adopting children.

So what would you say? Why aren't you homophobic (assuming none of you here are! )

1: because of your own sexual orientation - gay/lesbian (would you be as 'acceptant/open' had you not been gay yourself)?
2: very open parents/relatives, liberal education (or are you non-homophobic despite your parents being homophobic - just out of Trotz!)
3: other (do share if you feel like it) (I'd include me here..)

I have hope in future generations, but I do realise, that children (not including teen-agers here, because they are a weird species anyway! ) are not spared when it comes to racist/homophobic attitudes. I'm amazed when I hear children say the most nasty things about people that are 'different'. I blame the parents/adults, but can the circle be broken?

[not easy to phrase this question right, so do apologise, if you think my question is inapt, wrong or out of place]

I don't know why I'm not homophobic. My parents are in many ways liberal people, but my dad is homophobic as many hispanic men over 50 years are. But maybe it is because I have travelled a lot, met a lot of people from different backgrounds, upbringing, situations and so on. Then again it could be because I'm hard of hearing and I know first hand how it feels to be percieved as different. Or because I grew up within an atheist family and didn't have a catholic or religious education whatsoever.

Whatever it is, I've always have this notion that everyone has the right to do whatever they want with their lives as long as it doesn't interfere with other people's freedom or rights. Who you sleep with or who you fall in love with is nobody's business but yours.  As for gay marriage and adopting kids, I have two friends who's parents are lesbian. They grew up with two moms. They're wonderful individuals and lead a normal life. If gays want to be parents, society should allow them to be.

[YaadPyar]

Wow - this is so great to go back and read.  Memories, memories, memories.  I remember this thread.  I remember my post and the responses and other posts.  One of the most intersting ones on the old board.  I still enjoy reading it over, and everything on it is just as meaninigful.  I hope folks are inspired to add their stories if they haven't already!

[Kelda]

Wow - this is so great to go back and read.  Memories, memories, memories.  I remember this thread.  I remember my post and the responses and other posts.  One of the most intersting ones on the old board.  I still enjoy reading it over, and everything on it is just as meaninigful.  I hope folks are inspired to add their stories if they haven't already!

Ditto! I can't believe that was back on PT!!

[DeeDee]

You know, when I was younger, I never knew there was such a word as homophobic.
Being brought up in New York City, by two very special parents hatred and bias were not part of my childhood or adulthood.

My parents were fierce liberals (that's right, it's not a curse word).  We were living among blacks, jews, asians and many other races and were taught tolerance and understanding.  Hanging out at discos in the 70's, (don't roll your eyes, young'ens), gay men were my best friends.  It was as natural as platform shoes and bell bottoms.

I actually pity the ones that know hatred as a part of life.