Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
Getting in Touch With Your Feelings About Brokeback Mountain
Aussie Chris:
--- Quote from: kudzudaddy on May 12, 2006, 10:03:33 pm ---Don't know what I can say after that. Perhaps a respectful silence is the only reponse.
--- End quote ---
Hi Kudz, this is amazing. I am torn between emotions. I agree with the appropriateness of respectful silence.
Thanks for posting.
serious crayons:
Wow. That is one of the saddest personal experience posts I've seen.
kudzudaddy:
Hello, again...
Ilovefishing posted again today. I repost it here for those that were touched, as I was, by his story.
"by - ilovefishing99 2 minutes ago (Sat May 13 2006 17:01:47)
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Last night after i posted my story I sat down with my wife and told her I felt better, we see a therapist still once in a while and she in constantly telling us to tell our story with others. But, as many of you know it is not easy for people to listen or understand (pweopl at our church). We joined a local chapter of PFLAG, which helps.
I want to thank everyone for your posts and kind words. I wish I could answer you all individually, but the last thing you need to see is "Ilovefishing99" all over this board. I would like to address what many of you have said though, if you will allow me.
About asking for forgiveness from the gay community, I ask for it everyday, I guess you can say I was "brainwashed", but I hate using that word. I grew up in a family that didn't hate gays, in fact I found out my mther had a relationship with a woman for a very long time, i look back now and guess I saw the signs. My parents did not ever tell me to hate gays, in fact I grew up in a very progressive family. (Actually I grew up in a substance abuse family, except for myself)...Maybe they were to "high" to hate. I don't blame my church, because our priest openly excepts gays and is one of the people that HELPED bring Kyle closer to us. I know many Catholics are against gays, but I am being honest here, our church embraces them, and Father Bill NEVER denouces them EVER. I thank him every day for what he did for us. Even when we didn't talk to Kyle he never lost his faith. He and Mike still remained very active in their church they attended, and said they were welcomed with open arms. I believe the Cathoilc church is slowly accepting gays, I do. I have to believe that, and it takes one step at a time (even if they are baby steps).
About what Tom said, I do feel as though this is my punishment for what I did to Kyle. I blame myself every day, and I know IT IS NOT my fault, and I ask God to forgive me every day, I will never be able to let that guilt go. If I could get those 10 years back I would. I have no idea where my hate came from, I don't and I refuse to blame anyone except for myself. To many of us in this world try to lay blame on somebody else instead of taking the responsiblity. I know I didn't cause the accident that took his life. But, every day I look in the mirror and wonder what happened to me? Life goes by so quick, and we are all in such a hurry to catch up to it, but what we all need to do is slow down and be happy with what we have.
We are still close with Mike, he refuses to move on, or maybe he just tells us that. I can see it in his eyes. I called him today to say hi, I told him about this board and what I wrote. I wish I couls do something to make him happier. I just want the pain to go away, as the father I feel like it is my responsiblity to do this, and I know I cannot.
About BBM, everyone here says they can relate to the characters som how, I see my son and Mike happy. In my dreams I see them happy with a family.
thank you all again for your kind words and letting me tell part of my familys story."
For those who believe in prayer... I hope you will include this man in your remembrance.
mike348:
I have to add to add my story. My partner of many years wanted to see this but I was not so interested. So I bought the DVD for his birthday when it came out in UK (2 weeks ago) and we watched it the night before I left for a business trip. He did not seem that taken, expected more romance I think but I have been devastated while 6000 miles away from him. I breakdown every night at the end of the day and when I phone him I have to take care to stay calm as I do not want to worry him. When I return home I want to see the movie again but I am not sure I should? I will always remember the scene where Ennis puts his arms around Jack after the second night (I think). And of course the very end... why oh why did the writer have to kill Jack? Why couldn't she have had him seriously wounded and Ennis come and take him away to a better life. Annie I don't think I can ever forgive you....Will I ever stop feeling so sad?
TJ:
--- Quote ---For those who believe in prayer... I hope you will include this man in your remembrance.
--- End quote ---
Actually one does not have to have a religion of any kind to have prayerful thoughts about someone who has needs.
The Holy Spirit of the God in whom I believe does hear the prayers of folks who even call themselves, atheists, agnostics and sinners.
I am not ashamed that I am a Practicing Pentecostal and I believe that God the Father and Jesus the Christ can talk to me by Holy Spirit's power and Holy Spirit speaks for Them.
My friend, Jim, who had lost his son to HIV/AIDS, knew that I was having some financial struggles some years back. We had become friends in a support group for Family and Friends of those who have HIV/AIDS. After I became homeless and got my own apartment, he helped me move my stuff that was in storage to my home.
Jim had been turned off by religious fanatics and he was not even going to church. He did have respect for me and my own beliefs. In fact, I was the "Bible expert" for the group and that was because they wanted me to be.
One day, the Lord said to me through the power of the Holy Spirit, "Jim is outside working in his yard and right now he is thinking about you. He is hoping that a certain thing will be done to help you financially and I am going to answer his thoughts for you as a regular prayer."
And, if I remember correctly, Jim was the only person who knew about that particular need.
A few years later, Jim started attending a Methodist church and even joined the sanctuary choir.
So, my heart and prayers go out to your friend.
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