Hi, texman,
Thank you so much for your heartfelt post. I'm glad you found your way to BetterMost and felt comfortable enough to share your story with us.
The feelings you describe are very similar to those of so many others who have experienced this remarkable film. I first saw the film theatrically on Februay 18th (the day before I turned thirty-nine), and I have been crying every single day since...no other movie has affected me like this. Ennis and Jack are in my mind when I wake up in the mornings, and they're there when I go to bed at night. They feel like real people to me, who have assumed permanent lodging in my heart...simply amazing that fictional characters can have this kind of effect on one.
I know that that's rough to be overwhelmed with emotion at one's place of work. I've been dealing with this ever since February, and luckily am in a job where I'm not around people all the time. I can say that, with repeated viewings (I've seen the film a total of five times in the theater), the story's happier moments gain more prominence, and the sadness is mitigated by the joy that these characters do know at some points. But the sadness has not gone away, and I'm not sure if or when it will.
If I can make a suggestion, it would be to go with your feelings--explore them for what they are, and don't try to suppress them (outside of "inappropriate" contexts such as the workplace). The whole story of "Brokeback Mountain" is about the dangers of repressing one's emotional life, and of how such stifling of the spirit can poison and destroy human lives. This film is giving people a remarkable opportunity to examine their own lives, to reflect not only on past regret but to seize present and future opportunity, to forge ahead with renewed appreciation for the good and beautiful things around us. It is, in my opinion, nothing less than a miracle.
This whole site is about offering folks like us, who have been profoundly affected by this film, "to finish the story in our own lives". We will be here to read and support you as you continue posting. Peace and strength be with you...
Scott