Barb, thank you for sharing this sad news with us, so we can try to help you get through this pain. I lost my dad to cancer 22 months, 2 weeks, and 1 day ago. Today, my dear mom turned 80 years old, but she is in a nursing home, on her deathbed, we're told, with 6 kinds of cancer, including the brain, which seems to really take its toll the most. I feel for you and your family, and please, like others here have said, do not beat yourself up for your relief. When my mom passes in the next few days, I too will feel relief first, that she is no longer in pain and just a mere shadow of her self. I am certain that relief is all that she wants right now, and is praying for it. All the best from one Brokie to another in grief.