Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
Why are we like this?
Rayn:
--- Quote from: nic on June 27, 2007, 11:11:58 am ---Hi guys,
Just randomly browsing around the site like I do when I have a rare moment of indulgence, & I was struck by your words of feeling you were in a shell, because that is my experience too. I grew a protective shell because of various childhood factors & although I have come out of it partially when something is such a part of you it is difficult to extricate yourself from it. I identify with Ennis strongly as I feel he has a self-imposed shell & is very internalized.
I don't think that everyone who gets BBM necessarily has this same experience & it's probably fruitless to ask, but you can't help being curious can you? :)
--- End quote ---
Nic, you have a very valid point about Ennis and many people who live in "protective shells" because of childhood experiences. It's pretty clear why Ennis is the way he is, except to Ennis, who is only to beginning to understand himself at the end of the movie.
Considering why we are "like this", I'd like to add that I think people who've known a lot of loss in life can be more deeply moved by the movie. I know that's true for me. I've thought about why that is, and slowly it's become clear that the profound effect the movie had on me is directly related to the amount of loss I've had in life. If I'm like others, and I am, then people who've known great loss identify with the characters more; so the emotional impact and obsession can be greater for us.
I'm sure everyone in the community relates to the movie with or without personal loss, because there's so much in it that's so real to us, but loss is the terrible fact in Ennis' life, which doesn't even begin to look at the losses in Jack's life! Ennis' losses of parents, childhood innocence, siblings, a marriage and then Jack are overwhelming. It's a wonder he didn't sink into depression and go under for good. Thank goodness for his girls and the little bit of light the begins to shine through the crack in the shell at the end of the movie.
Rayn
nic:
--- Quote from: Rayn on June 29, 2007, 01:15:07 am ---...... Thank goodness for his girls and the little bit of light the begins to shine through the crack in the shell at the end of the movie.
Rayn[/color][/size]
--- End quote ---
I also say thank goodness for Jack, as Jack was the one to first infiltrate Ennis's "shell". When Jack was around that shell more or less exploded into a thousand pieces! I had a "Jack" (a "Jill", or "Jackie", actually) that first infiltrated my shell so again that's what I can relate to in this story. Later on I think Ennis let Alma Jnr in due to the unconditional love he uncontrollably experienced for his child, but with the framework being a parent-sibling relationship it's not the same as a partner/lover relationship - equally wondrous I should say, as is any connection, especially for those who are so internalized.
Great points about loss - at first I thought you meant exclusivley loss of person you were close to, but I agree with the other examples you came up. Premature or enforced loss of childhood innocence has so many profound effects, & can affect in different ways, as shown by J & E - they both experienced that in different ways & it later expressed itself differently.
The common factor definitely must have something to do with life experience (such as these losses), as in general it tends to affect people roughly mid-20s & upwards and/or those that have had "crosses to bear" earlier in life. It's relatively rare to find people who don't relate their reaction to BBM to something deeper rather than completely not knowing why they feel it so strongly.
Rayn:
I agree with you Nic, 100%.... Thanks for your letter~
Rayn
Penthesilea:
--- Quote from: nic on June 29, 2007, 09:57:23 am ---The common factor definitely must have something to do with life experience (such as these losses), as in general it tends to affect people roughly mid-20s & upwards and/or those that have had "crosses to bear" earlier in life. It's relatively rare to find people who don't relate their reaction to BBM to something deeper rather than completely not knowing why they feel it so strongly.
--- End quote ---
Another big factor, if not the biggest, in the movie is regrets. It's apparent that the majority of people here on BM (and I think also on DC) are not teenagers or in their twenties anymore. I'd say most of us are not too far from 40 or older than 40.
It's logical: when you're 40, you already have half of your life behind you. You are old enough to have some life experiences. We all make mistakes in our lives, turn the wrong way, make wrong decisions. The longer you live, the more chances to make wrong decisions. Only few people manage to reach 40 without having some things in their life they truly regret.
So regret is another common factor.
Rayn:
Yes, regret is a big factor, for sure. And like merr7242, I too felt that when I first saw the movie. An awareness of regret set me in motion to change things in my life so that I wouldn't do or create things that I might soon regret. I got a new job (in the same field), moved to another city and changed my vacation plans to do see Alberta this year instead of doing the same old same old.
But for me at least, an awareness of why the movie had such a big impact on me and the connection to the personal losses came much later. I felt the loss of Jack in the movie first of course and knew in some ways it was similar to losing someone I loved, but much later, I realized that there were many more emotional threads that were connected that I hadn't really seen.
In fact, I just became aware of them a year or so after watching the movie the first time. Sometimes the deeper insights come more slowly to some of us, I guess. Oh, and about age and life experiences, you're right on, Penthesilea , right on.
Rayn
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