Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
Report your use of Brokieisms in so-called "real life"
x-man:
One Brokieism has come to mean a lot to me, and I find myself saying it again and again. It speaks to a dark part of my soul: "If you can't fix it, you've got to stand it."
serious crayons:
That's a good one, x-man. Only I hope you don't use it the way Ennis did, which was self-delusional. He could have fixed it, or at least tried, and wouldn't necessarily have had to stand it.
x-man:
--- Quote from: serious crayons on September 22, 2013, 10:40:58 am ---That's a good one, x-man. Only I hope you don't use it the way Ennis did, which was self-delusional. He could have fixed it, or at least tried, and wouldn't necessarily have had to stand it.
--- End quote ---
Thank you for the insight and candour of your reply--you obviously got my message. But I fear there comes a time in life when trying to "fix it" reveals itself as the self-delusion, or perhaps more accurately as self-deception, and "standing it" is the only realistic course to follow. You can't know how much I wish I were wrong.
milomorris:
I totally agree, x-man. In the words of the Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Poor Ennis didn't have the courage or the wisdom he needed.
x-man:
In what I wrote originally about this, (posting 985 above) I had in mind the ultimate conclusions drawn from surveying ones life, rather than those situations we face in the midst of life that can still be "fixed," gone on from, triumphed over. Proceeding from the Serenity Prayer, perhaps the wisdom involved is knowing when to say "enough is enough." I'm not talking about suicide, just the recognition that it is time to "stand it." But let's take it back to BBM, and compare Ennis to George, the professor, in Single Man (postings 190--195 at that site).
Ennis and Jack were 19 when they began, 39 when Jack died. Except for the first summer and their deepening love for each other, they had to "make it on a couple of high-altitude fucks once or twice a year." When Jack died they were only 39, but Ennis faced a meaningless future, his life was going nowhere, and with all his hangups his prospects of finding a new Jack were remote indeed. Ennis did not lack "wisdom" to "stand it:" Given his whole being, he could do no other, except perhaps to sink into absolute despair. He really was doing the best he could. (And I will not comment on another man's courage.)
The situation in Single Man is similar in many ways, but different in crucial ones. George and Jim were together, really together, for 16 years. When Jim died, George had been grieving for a year before the events of the last day shown in the film. I was irritated that after a year of grief George was not moving on. I was taken to task by Southendmd, milomorris, and Jeff Wrangler for this shortsighted view, and I backtracked. I agree that in putting away the gun George was showing that he was ready to "change it," to move on. I still can't forgive him for turning away from those 3 gorgeous men, but he did show signs that, had he lived, there would be more gorgeous men in his future. George was basically unlike Ennis and he was willing to go on. (That he was not able to because of the heart attack is a subject for another time.)
So Ennis was doomed to "stand it," while George was still in a position to "fix it." Add more years to their ages and chances of "fixing it" grow increasingly dim. At the risk of sounding simplistic, I think the message here is: if you can, get it while you can, before it is too late. "Never enough time, never enough time."
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