Our BetterMost Community > Creative Writer's Corner
Taking Chances, by E. L. Van Hine and L.H. Nicoll
richardg49:
Hi All: Also into the rereading, and certainly agree with the previous posters. What I always enjoy is the way Louise can throw away a perfect description with apparant carelessness and deadpan casualness. Like this one:
"This here's a gay bar, friend," Bill said, the word rolling out of his mouth as easy as a prayer on Sunday.
There are so many one-liners like this throughout the Saga - they increase so much our enjoyment of the story.
Can I now be critical? Please don't start throwing things at me, or worse, banning me from the bar, but I do want to make this observation, which has niggled at me ever since I first read the story:
I really cannot picture Jack, up there on Brokeback Mountain, sitting down and recording his thoughts about Ennis in a Journal. It seems so out of character for the Jack we read about in the original story - about the last thing he would do there. Even more odd, I think, is that Ennis, having received the Journal, would wait so long before opening and reading it, and then only page at a time, with significant time lapses between each new page. Surely the obvious thing to have done would have been to read it through in full as soon as possible after first getting it? Both of these things strain plausibility just a bit too far. Of course, I can see why Louise did it - it provides a way to put Jack into the story. In a way, Jack is speaking to Ennis from beyond the grave, which of course adds to the angst and the pressure and internal conflict Ennis feels at this stage of his 'coming out' process. And it makes Jack still a significant character in the story, which of course is Louise's intention, isn't it?
Ok, now I'll retreat a safe distance and hear what anyone might like to say in response to this comment. Be gentle with me, please?
MaineWriter:
--- Quote from: richardg49 on December 04, 2006, 06:22:34 pm ---Hi All: Also into the rereading, and certainly agree with the previous posters. What I always enjoy is the way Louise can throw away a perfect description with apparant carelessness and deadpan casualness. Like this one:
"This here's a gay bar, friend," Bill said, the word rolling out of his mouth as easy as a prayer on Sunday.
There are so many one-liners like this throughout the Saga - they increase so much our enjoyment of the story.
Can I now be critical? Please don't start throwing things at me, or worse, banning me from the bar, but I do want to make this observation, which has niggled at me ever since I first read the story:
I really cannot picture Jack, up there on Brokeback Mountain, sitting down and recording his thoughts about Ennis in a Journal. It seems so out of character for the Jack we read about in the original story - about the last thing he would do there. Even more odd, I think, is that Ennis, having received the Journal, would wait so long before opening and reading it, and then only page at a time, with significant time lapses between each new page. Surely the obvious thing to have done would have been to read it through in full as soon as possible after first getting it? Both of these things strain plausibility just a bit too far. Of course, I can see why Louise did it - it provides a way to put Jack into the story. In a way, Jack is speaking to Ennis from beyond the grave, which of course adds to the angst and the pressure and internal conflict Ennis feels at this stage of his 'coming out' process. And it makes Jack still a significant character in the story, which of course is Louise's intention, isn't it?
Ok, now I'll retreat a safe distance and hear what anyone might like to say in response to this comment. Be gentle with me, please?
--- End quote ---
Hi Richard,
Interesting comment. I am like you, I could never have a journal and not read the entire thing, all the way through, the first time I opened it. But, on the other hand, if the memory is too painful, he really can take the journal only in the tiniest of doses. My mother is a bit like this...she has family pictures she won't look at, things she refuses to read, because it is just too painful.
As for Jack writing in a journal, the entries are very brief, only a sentence or two, so the actual writing would have taken just a minute. And remember, Ennis and Jack had significant time apart during the day and presumably during the night (although I think that changed after the second night in the tent). So Jack would have had time alone to make his entries...and it doesn't sound like he was writing entries on a daily basis, either.
To me, it would completely out of character for Ennis to write in a journal. I can't picture that at all. But I can seeing Jack being a bit more reflective and wanting to record his thoughs, even through they are very brief.
Interesting point for discussion, Richard.
L
notBastet:
--- Quote from: NavyVet on November 28, 2006, 04:32:13 pm ---I'm feeling a little anxious and down today, so I thought I'd share a little something serene and restful. I found this picture and thought the colors were pretty. It also reminded me of our 'boys'. Y'all can imagine them to be Ennis & Ellery or Jack and Ennis, whichever you prefer.
:-\
--- End quote ---
I really like that cowboy picture, NavyVet, would you mind if I used it for an avatar?
mariez:
--- Quote from: MaineWriter on December 04, 2006, 06:33:29 pm ---Hi Richard,
Interesting comment. I am like you, I could never have a journal and not read the entire thing, all the way through, the first time I opened it. But, on the other hand, if the memory is too painful, he really can take the journal only in the tiniest of doses. My mother is a bit like this...she has family pictures she won't look at, things she refuses to read, because it is just too painful.
As for Jack writing in a journal, the entries are very brief, only a sentence or two, so the actual writing would have taken just a minute. And remember, Ennis and Jack had significant time apart during the day and presumably during the night (although I think that changed after the second night in the tent). So Jack would have had time alone to make his entries...and it doesn't sound like he was writing entries on a daily basis, either.
To me, it would completely out of character for Ennis to write in a journal. I can't picture that at all. But I can seeing Jack being a bit more reflective and wanting to record his thoughs, even through they are very brief.
Interesting point for discussion, Richard.
L
--- End quote ---
I agree that it is an intersting point for discussion. In addition to what Leslie has already said, I guess the journal did not seem out of character for Jack when I got to read what he actually wrote. To me, the entries were very much Jack. If the journal had contained very long, very eloquent, flowery thoughts - well, then it may have not rung true. But once I saw the entries, I could so imagine Jack thinking these things that it's not a stretch for me to imagine him jotting them down. And if I am remembering correctly there aren't even that many entries.
Everyone deals with grief in a different way. I don't think there is a "wrong" way or a "right" way. I can understand it being too difficult for Ennis to open the Journal immediately upon receiving it. It brought back such tremendously strong emotions that I can imagine he felt that he just had to step back from it. Sometimes we do this when something is just "too much" for us to handle. This understanding is reinforced when I see that Ennis can't even read the entire Journal at once but, rather, as Leslie said, in very small doses.
Just my 2 cents anyway - thanks!
Marie
Lumière:
--- Quote from: MaineWriter on December 04, 2006, 06:33:29 pm ---Hi Richard,
Interesting comment. I am like you, I could never have a journal and not read the entire thing, all the way through, the first time I opened it. But, on the other hand, if the memory is too painful, he really can take the journal only in the tiniest of doses. My mother is a bit like this...she has family pictures she won't look at, things she refuses to read, because it is just too painful.
As for Jack writing in a journal, the entries are very brief, only a sentence or two, so the actual writing would have taken just a minute. And remember, Ennis and Jack had significant time apart during the day and presumably during the night (although I think that changed after the second night in the tent). So Jack would have had time alone to make his entries...and it doesn't sound like he was writing entries on a daily basis, either.
To me, it would completely out of character for Ennis to write in a journal. I can't picture that at all. But I can seeing Jack being a bit more reflective and wanting to record his thoughs, even through they are very brief.
--- End quote ---
Yay, I love the discussions so far. Although I have not yet had time to go back and re-read the first 5 chaps. .... 8)
I agree wholehearted with what Leslie observes here. The journal entries were 1 or 2 sentences, so I think that was very plausible.
About reading the journal all at once, again Leslie makes a good point. Some people can not handle 'pain' like this in large does. I would have read the whole thing myself, no matter how painful, but Ennis simply could not. Somehow, that did not strike me as out of character for Ennis because he was in denial about alot of things .. where Jack was concerned anyway. And somehow I can see him struggling along with that journal, digesting only little bits of it at a time.
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