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Taking Chances, by E. L. Van Hine and L.H. Nicoll
belbbmfan:
from chapter 39 Brokeback.
Ennis finds the letter Jack had written to him...
“Dear Ennis,
Maybe this is the kinda mushy shit girls do, but maybe that is just how I am. I ain’t never felt this way about anyone and I doubt seriously, being the ripe age of nineteen now that I will. Maybe I’m wrong. Never got too far with a girl and never wanted to, but I don’t want to let you go, boy. Don’t ever want to let you go. My Daddy is a tough bastard but when it comes to family keeps his mouth shut, and told me if I stayed up in Lightning Flat he would let me build a separate place, maybe a cabin instead of a full size house. There’s enough work up there for two hands besides him. I’m heading there when we leave, whenever it is, and I’m going to ask him about making the cabin and having another hand come up. It’ll be private no worry there. I don’t think I can go on thinking bout living the rodeo life instead of being with you. Ennis you got me good, please, think about it. Because I love you. Jack.”
this chapter got me good too louise.
louisev:
you guys got all the good quotes! I didn't realize how painful that stuff was to go back to reading! ai yi yi. Poor Ennis!
richardg49:
--- Quote from: belbbmfan on December 11, 2006, 07:59:05 am ---from chapter 39 Brokeback.
Ennis finds the letter Jack had written to him...
“Dear Ennis,
Maybe this is the kinda mushy shit girls do, but maybe that is just how I am. I ain’t never felt this way about anyone and I doubt seriously, being the ripe age of nineteen now that I will. Maybe I’m wrong. Never got too far with a girl and never wanted to, but I don’t want to let you go, boy. Don’t ever want to let you go. My Daddy is a tough bastard but when it comes to family keeps his mouth shut, and told me if I stayed up in Lightning Flat he would let me build a separate place, maybe a cabin instead of a full size house. There’s enough work up there for two hands besides him. I’m heading there when we leave, whenever it is, and I’m going to ask him about making the cabin and having another hand come up. It’ll be private no worry there. I don’t think I can go on thinking bout living the rodeo life instead of being with you. Ennis you got me good, please, think about it. Because I love you. Jack.”
this chapter got me good too louise.
--- End quote ---
But equally good is Ennis' letter in reply.
From Chapter 40:
“Dear Jack,
You was a stupid ass ta be in love with me becuss I wasnt ready for nothing at all except fucking and talking and drinking. And you got to know that I am fucking sorry for that. In sum way I wish I could make time go backwerd and I could be as smart as I am today but I dont have any power to that. But I can say that I am sorry. I been sorry for every minute since I last saw yer sad blue eyes and you were killed. You were beautaful to me, Jack. You were the most beautaful man in the world to me but I never told you and that I am sorry for to. I found a new man who told me he is goin to find out how you died and if you was killed I will find the men who did it and get vengence.
You were beautaful to me and I loved you. And I will always be sorry I never told you those two things. But I wont be sorry at all to find out how you was killed. I made a grave for you on Brokeback so you can be where you wanted to be, and when I can I’ll come back here and put flowers on it and say a prayer for you.
I will always love you. And any body who comes up to Brokeback will know I did. Ennis Del Mar.”
I love that line 'You were beautaful to me and I loved you.'
louisev:
ah yeah, sigh.
I debated with myself about whether to write "I loved you" or "I love you", but I thought in Ennis's case, he wanted to stress the point that he had lost Jack, and that he had loved him then, and he was beautiful to him, and had held back - then. But that he no longer feels the need to hold back on that recognition of what he had felt when Jack was alive.
MaineWriter:
I am home from Washington and it is Tuesday (although it is very early in the morning) so for the re-readers, today we tackle chapters 41 to 45.
Link to 41 is here:
http://louisev.livejournal.com/12990.html
L
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