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Taking Chances, by E. L. Van Hine and L.H. Nicoll
belbbmfan:
from chapter 30:
Junior took off her evening shift the day he arrived and baked him a birthday cake, and they celebrated his 42nd birthday, and briefly, he felt like an old man, until he blew out the candles and helped himself to chocolate ice cream, perversely, in the middle of eating it, reminded of the ice cream sundaes at the Rose Hotel when he celebrated with Ellery, and the passion that followed it, causing him to blush inexplicably.
very sweet, for a second he felt old until he thought of Ellery again, which made him blush. When you're in love like that, you can't be old.
:)
MaineWriter:
--- Quote from: belbbmfan on December 31, 2006, 10:46:08 am ---from chapter 30:
Junior took off her evening shift the day he arrived and baked him a birthday cake, and they celebrated his 42nd birthday, and briefly, he felt like an old man, until he blew out the candles and helped himself to chocolate ice cream, perversely, in the middle of eating it, reminded of the ice cream sundaes at the Rose Hotel when he celebrated with Ellery, and the passion that followed it, causing him to blush inexplicably.
very sweet, for a second he felt old until he thought of Ellery again, which made him blush. When you're in love like that, you can't be old.
:)
--- End quote ---
So true...
L
notBastet:
This is one of my most favorite honest-Ellery moments... he's so laying it on the line, saying how scared he is, and how he would feel if Ennis left. Not trying to be brave-cop anymore.
--- Quote from: MaineWriter on December 28, 2006, 09:29:29 am ---More from Chapter 14:
“I know.” Ellery looked up at him once more. "Are you goin back to Riverton Ennis? Cause if you are I might as well just put this food down an get started on the throwin up.”
--- End quote ---
MaineWriter:
That's one of the things I am noticing much more in this book...just how vulnerable Ellery really feels and how he covers it up with his cockiness and bravado. He is so desparately in love and so worried that Ennis is going to bolt.
L
belbbmfan:
--- Quote from: MaineWriter on December 31, 2006, 10:39:58 am ---Chapter 30:
They parted on a friendly note – it could not have been more different from his last departure, and he pointed the truck north, closer to layin Jack to rest where he wanted to be. As he drove, he found himself weeping from time to time, and at other times, tense with a pleasurable fantasy of their romps in the wilderness, always ending the same way, in the hard clinch of mutual need and desire, panting and moaning into each other’s mouths, unable to break away until they were both sated.
He never thought he would ever feel that kind of pleasure again.... yet here it was. And every time he felt that blissful release, the hot surge of orgasm blasting through him like lightning striking old wood and searing it to splinters... a part of him would remember that same unearthly pleasure he felt with Jack in his arms, moaning against him and with him... how could he have lived without it so long, how could have gone so long without holding him? Tears stained his cheeks, almost unfelt, as he puzzled through this mystery of how he had locked himself away, in a kind of cold storage, every time he watched Jack’s truck drive away, because this time, when he saw Ellery walk through the sliding glass door to meet his airplane, he felt that same feeling of frozenness descend upon him, like the door of a tomb shutting, uncertain of when it would open again, or for how long.
Like a series of small deaths, that he endured, to stave off the death he could not avoid, did not avoid. He hadn’t saved himself, or Jack, anything with this unendurable abstinence – he had only proven that he was able to still breathe in cold storage, without the touch he needed like he needed air and food. What did that prove? Perhaps that he was less than human, that he was beyond stoicism, and more suitable to a hermit’s life all that time... but was he, really? This time, when he felt the doors close, his eyes straining along the horizon for the lights that were the tiny Beech turboprop taking to the skies, heading for Denver on his errand, he felt a dread of death like he had never felt it when Jack had driven away those times... he felt his knees shake and give, and he held on to the door of the truck, feeling himself caving in, unable to endure this separation as he had those other, just as unendurable separations. What was he, that he could do that to Jack, over and over, that curt goodbye, the supercilious feeling of superiority that he could stand it, for however long it took, until he took him in his arms again?
I was lyin then. It was all a big lie. I couldn’t stand it any more than he could... I just died a little each time. This time, he told himself, it would be different. This time, when he hiked back down Brokeback, he would be able to tell Jack the next time he would be here, flowers in hand, to apologize once more for what he thought then could not be helped. That he couldn’t stand it anymore than Jack could. And he couldn’t stand it any better now.
L
--- End quote ---
this is just beautiful. i have tears in my eyes reading this.
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