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Taking Chances, by E. L. Van Hine and L.H. Nicoll
belbbmfan:
from real hawtness to real hilarious!
chapter 37
Officer Dan Chapman was manning the dispatch during the lunch hour Friday, monitoring for emergency calls from the cruisers on patrol. He noticed one of the channels from a cruiser on surveillance patrol was open, and adjusted the volume to hear the transmission.
“So whaddaya think they’re doin now?”
“Dunno, they moved away from the window. Makin lunch or somethin.”
“Nah. I think they’re gettin busy.”
“Gettin busy? They’s two guys in there, Buster.”
“You don’t know about the Chief then I guess.”
“What about the Chief – what is he, queer or somethin?”
“You bet. Queer as they come.”
“Don’t seem queer ta me.”
The first voice that spoke, laughed. “That’s because the Chief ... he’s the man a the two. You never seen him orderin people around in the station? Givin everybody guff just because he can? You can bet he makes that big ol’ cowboy get on his knees mornin an night fer him. You see the size a his hands, bet ya he’s hung like a stallion too.”
“Not sure I wanna be thinkin a the Chief that way, Simpson. I just ate my lunch.”
“Just sayin.”
Chapman shook his head and pressed the transmitter. “Hey Simpson, get off the fuckin radio, yer transmittin. Do yer fantasizin off the air okay?” then he slapped the transmit button once more, greeted by sudden dead air.
Roy Simpson gulped, face red as a beet. “Jesus Christ amighty. I hope he don’t tell that all ta Chief Cantrell.”
“Serve ya right if he did,” said his partner. “Now watch the damn house an stop makin me sick ta my stomach.”
MaineWriter:
A little bit more from chapter 37:
Ellery went back outside. “Every time I call up there somethin weird is happenin.”
“What now?”
“Jim Allen’s photos turned up. He was takin pictures a Amos Marigold posin in women’s lingerie.”
Ennis spat out a mouthful of beer. “Amos what?”
“You heard me. Anyhow, I couldn’t talk ta Wes because he is in his office with the D.A. talkin about Amos, an Dupree thinks it’s a bad idea ta try ta leave town an he thinks we ought ta have a barbecue with him an his new girlfriend an Lauren an Simon an talk about reopenin the bar.”
“Huh. Not exactly gettin fancy up on the river, but the more I think about it, the more I think we’ll be lucky ta find any campsite anywhere that ain’t crawlin with kids an old ladies an families. River’ll be packed.”
“You mind havin a barbecue instead?”
“Nah, guess not, we got ta go shoppin.”
“I’ll make the calls an then we can both go shoppin.”
“This mean we ain’t gonna go do it again in there?”
Ellery turned to look at him. “You wanna fuck again?”
Ennis smiled sheepishly, and Ellery grabbed his hand. “Well come on boy, but yer gonna be on top this time.”
MaineWriter:
Chapter 38:
A few minutes later, Ennis came up the walkway. “Well, they comin over?” Ellery asked, turning the skewers over and straightening up, wiping his hands on a makeshift apron he tucked into the loose waist of his cutoffs. He was shirtless, a slick sheen of sweat accumulating on his hairless chest. Ennis’s gaze flickered down and back up again, a faint smile on his face.
“Yeah, movin the cruiser. right now. You are really distractin in that outfit an little apron there, boy.”
“Only ta you, sweetheart,” he chuckled.
Simpson and Jewell exchanged glances as Simpson pulled the car up. “Seems like a straight enough guy ta me,” Jewell said. “I think you made up all this queer shit. “Ennis is his cousin, they even look alike fer Chrissake.”
“No I didn’t. Swear ta god, Jack. An did you see HIS hands? He’s got ta be a sizable boy himself.”
“Oh knock it off Simpson, they’re givin us shish kebab. Don’t be talkin trash.”
They rounded the walkway and came up on the patio, looking slightly awkward in uniform with Ennis and Ellery in cutoff denims, with Ellery shirtless. “Afternoon, Chief, everythin quiet here I guess,” Simpson said, offering his hand. Ellery shook, nodding and smiling, and then shook Jewell’s hand.
“At ease gentlemen, we figured it wasn’t quite fair ta have a delicious cookout dinner while you two boys ate peanut butter an jelly out of a bag.”
“Actually we was thinkin a gettin some Colonel Sanders from over on Center Street, you know the place, Chief,” Jewell offered. “But this looks a whole lot better.”
“Feel free ta fill a plate, we got snacks, an chips, an cookies, an yer kebabs’ll be ready in five minutes or so. Our guests won’t be here for another half hour so take yer time.”
“Gee, Chief, thanks!” Simpson asked, taking off his hat and setting it on an empty chair. Jewel put his hat on the same chair and they sat back. “Ya know, it ain’t that we mind surveillance... it’s pretty light duty, but sometimes ya run out a things ta talk about, ya know?”
“Yeah, then ya end up listenin to the radio,” Ellery said, smiling.
“Uh....” Simpson gulped, blushing red. “I guess... ya... heard... about that....”
“Well, not in gory detail,” Ellery said. “Just that my personal habits were subject ta some speculation.”
“I’m real sorry about that Chief. Jewell didn’t say nothin. If yer gonna reprimand, it was all on me.” Jewell looked grim, not making eye contact.
“Well ta tell ya the god’s honest truth, I was gettin busy in the bedroom. Housework is a damn pain in the ass, ya know?” He said, making a barely perceptible wink at Jewell as he looked at Simpson.
MaineWriter:
Chapter 40:
Dupree opened the box and lifted one out, and Ennis looked in as well, even though he said “I’ll have some a that three color stuff, Ellery, if yer bringin it out.”
“I’ll have one of these here,” Tatiana said, gently tugging her hand back from Simon.
“Excuse me, my dear,” Simon said, nodding up at Ellery. “I’ll have some of what Ennis is havin. What about you, Pookie?”
Ellery grinned as he turned away to go into the kitchen, and Ennis rose to start cleaning up some of the dirty dishes, bringing them inside to the kitchen. He leaned over Ellery as he went to the refrigerator and whispered, “Don’t you never call me somethin like that in front a other people.”
Ellery turned his head, his lips grazing Ennis’s cheek. “Whaddaya mean, lumpkin?” and Ennis swatted his ass smartly. Ellery shivered. “Oooh, don’t do that unless ya mean business snookems,” he whispered again.
“Ellery....” Ennis growled, and Ellery took the package of ice cream out of the freezer, chuckling as he went back outside.
MaineWriter:
And a good laugh at the end of Chapter 40:
“This is a real nice party, everybody. Thanks fer comin over,” Ennis said, his own color high.
“Why Ennis, that is the first you said besides ‘want some more shish kebab’ in the past hour!” Ellery said, nudging him.
“Well... feels good, havin friends over an just sittin around on the patio.” He lowered his eyes and then forced himself to look up at the friendly faces around him. “Never... had friends over like that before.”
“Then it’s about damn time,” Dupree said, clapping Ennis on the shoulder. “No time like the present, eh Ennis?”
“Hell no!” Lauren said, squeezing Simon’s muscular knee.
Ennis cleared his throat, biting his lip. “I sure hope... we can do this again... just, all sittin around like this... enjoyin each other’s company.”
“Sure we can sweetheart,” Ellery said.
“Ennis I am real happy you showed up at the Red Stallion that day... ya know that?” Lauren said. “You probably didn’t see me but I was real proud a the way you helped that boy, an was proud when you an Ellery got together.”
“Yeah, well. Um.. Thanks, Lauren.” He blinked rapidly, then looked over at Ellery, as if for reassurance, and Ellery gave him another wink and a warm smile.
“It was a good day fer all of us. Now everybody raise yer glasses to the reopenin a the Red Stallion!” Ellery said, picking up his wine, and they clinked glasses together.
Jewell adjusted the binoculars, leaning up against the windshield.
“Well? What’re they doin, Jack?”
Jewell handed the binoculars back. “They’re havin a queer orgy, Roy, you won’t believe it. They’re all of em naked holdin on to each other’s cocks!”
“Holy shit, no.”
Jewell gave him a disgusted look. “You sumbitch, Roy, they’re drinkin wine an eatin ice cream, just like normal human beins, what the fuck do ya think?”
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