Hey there, Kerry,
I am so glad that you joined us here. I don't think you should factor pride into the tears. Let them come whenever and wherever. For me, I still wax and wane like that beloved moon and have given up trying to make any real sense of it - I guess sometimes those unhealed wounds are more sensitive than at other times.
Thanks for sharing the details of your story with Gerard. If you want a good cry, you should check out Jeff Wrangler's short story,
The Grieving Plain. A link to it, and other stories by Jeff are in this thread:
http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php?topic=520.msg5323#msg5323The Grieving Plain had my tears flowing so heavy I couldn't see the screen while I sat at my desk - my mother thought something was desperately wrong, and I had to get a grip before she completely freaked
. But I still re-read it and cry every time.
Also, since you mentioned the early days of the AIDS epidemic and the ensuing panic...(Cannot believe the idea of exile to the Great Barrier Reef! I mean, I believe you, but Criminy)...I was wondering if you've seen the film
Longtime Companion? And if so, what you thought of it. It is set in the early 80's US, and I liked it quite a lot, though it definitely has an 80's movie feel. I've been watching a lot of GLBT films since
Brokeback Mountain, trying to get up to speed. There's a thread someplace around here with recommended movies and reviews and all if you're interested. I was only 12 in 1980, so I wasn't very aware of what was what back then.
Again - I'm glad you're here, Kerry - let's try to support each other in finishing Annie's story in our own lives.
Best,
Lynne