The World Beyond BetterMost > The Culture Tent
In the New Yorker...
Jeff Wrangler:
My June 28 issue arrived today. I just finished Ian Frazier's appreciation of Janet Malcolm.
Front-Ranger:
That was a lovely tribute. I voraciously read about sleep training but I was indifferent to the article about pets, and I don't know why. I enjoyed Shouts & Murmurs this week about aliens commenting on our culture. I loved the sketchbook of lifeguard Fauci. I tried to read the fiction "Offside Constantly" but was only able to complete 4 pages.
Jeff Wrangler:
I would like to hear what Brokies who are mothers have to say about that article about getting babies to sleep. Y'all have been there, haven't y'all?
Front-Ranger:
One thing is true: "You will not escape the cry." What they're describing in the article, "extinguishment", sometimes works, but sometimes does not. Also, what long-term impacts does leaving a child alone to cry at night have on their memories, their well-being, and their relationship with their parents? (I almost said mother, but we have to acknowledge that it is both parents who are leaving the child alone.)
I recall using a different approach with my daughter. I left her alone as she was playing one day for a few minutes when I went round the corner in the kitchen, keeping an ear open for any distress. I also left her alone sometimes when she was playing in the nursery. The door was open and she could hear me puttering around. In the evening her dad or I would read her a story when we put her to bed (awkward as we had to stand by the crib) and then we would be in the room until she fell asleep, reading, folding laundry, etc. We had some kind of noise cancelling thing we would play that made the sound of a heartbeat or ocean.
My daughter stopped taking naps when she was less than a year old which was inconvenient for me, but I adjusted. With my son, he ended up sleeping in my bed until he was about 13 months old. Every time I would try to lower him into the crib after feeding him and rocking him to sleep, it would trigger him to wake up. He also stopped napping at a young age. I was sleep deprived for about six years, LOL!
serious crayons:
Letting the baby play on her own with the door open while you putter outside the room seems like a good solution!
Most parents these days follow the Ferber Method, which involves responding quickly at first, then letting a child cry for slightly longer every night. I think we did some version of that.
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