The World Beyond BetterMost > The Culture Tent
In the New Yorker...
Front-Ranger:
--- Quote from: Jeff Wrangler on March 22, 2024, 02:13:53 pm ---... I don't know Jia Tolentino's insisted-upon pronouns, so I wrote the sentence to avoid using a pronoun.
I wonder when TNY will start including insisted-upon pronouns in the contributor list?
--- End quote ---
Interesting that you used the words "insisted-upon" twice. I thought the term was "preferred." Can you say more about that?
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: Front-Ranger on March 23, 2024, 11:27:30 am ---Interesting that you used the words "insisted-upon" twice. I thought the term was "preferred." Can you say more about that?
--- End quote ---
It's been my personal experience that people who don't want to be referred to by traditional male or female pronouns can be quite insistent about that and even get offended if you slip up, so I feel they are "insisted upon" rather than "preferred."
I suppose there are some people who don't get offended and just quietly correct you.
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: serious crayons on March 22, 2024, 03:55:45 pm ---I guess you can never be sure of anybody's pronouns these days, but I have sat in a meeting where fellow reporters talked to Jia Tolentino remotely and she appears to be a woman. She also used to write for Jezebel, a woman's website. So I'm going to boldly go with she/her.
--- End quote ---
Now that you mention it, I think you have mentioned it before; it sounds familiar. I just suppose you can't necessarily depend on what pronouns the person wants used based on their appearance.
Front-Ranger:
Well, I have had a related problem nearly my whole life. I have a name that is gender neutral, so people who don't know me often assume I am a man. Many times people (usually men) would write to me about some business or other and the letter would start "Dear Mr. Lee R." I find this annoying but am resigned to it. However, I hardly ever end up doing business with such people.
Then, if I do somehow exchange phone calls with the business person, it amazes me how often, even after I've talked with them by phone, that they still assume I'm a man! And there have been more than a few times when, once I meet them in person, they are shocked to see that I am a woman. And they seem to feel like I'm some kind of impersonator or have been trying to trick them. This has led to some comical job interviews.
It is really interesting to see how their excitement at possibly doing business with me evaporates once they realize that I am just some...woman. I don't bother to even take offense. It's not worth it.
Jeff Wrangler:
I was once mistaken for a woman on a phone call. ::)
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