The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Gay Detecting Radar
j.U.d.E.:
--- Quote from: starboardlight on July 20, 2006, 11:01:36 am --- I seem to have a knack for detecting closeted married men at Target, the gym, or the supermarkets. With these guys though, it's gotta be rough. They keep themselves so shut off but their eyes will wander at the wrong time, and I seem to catch them at those times.
--- End quote ---
That's actually quite cute, the way you discribe it! :)
I would say I have an above average gaydar, but I have also been wrong. Of course, I cannot always 'find out', when I 'suspect', because I won't be as bold as Lynne ;) (way to go, Lynne!) everytime I think someone could be gay. I think it's mostly the eyes and a certain 'way of being'.. hard to describe.
Back at Uni there was this one friend where I thought he might be gay. When we came back from an exchange year abroad another friend told me that this friend had told her he was gay. I just said - yes, what else is new.. ;D I think the friend who told me, was a bit surprised.. :)
A couple of years ago I had a friend from the UK visiting me in Brussels and she brought her husband too. We met in the city centre and he 'pinged!!' totally! I showed them around the city a bit and brought them to our 'gay quarter' of Brussels and my friend told me her husband does like both..
Really!? :P
~ j U d E
YaadPyar:
--- Quote from: Katie77 on July 20, 2006, 01:32:54 am ---
Interesting reading about your gay-radar (gaydar....like that).....anyway....from a straight females point of view, here are the things i look for or notice....
--- End quote ---
Katie -
I know too many straight men who fit in the categories you describe to think those cues mean 'gay'. And too many gay men who don't. And lesbians who don't fit into any of that.
And I'm wondering also here - I have always hated the word lesbian. I think it sounds so ugly. There's not a different term for being straight depending on gender. Am wondering if it makes sense to just use the word gay for men & women. Although I so like the term queer myself, but don't know why...
And, as Nipith said, it's always tricky when your own gay-dar tells you something about a person who can't acknowledge themselves who they are....
Lynne:
--- Quote from: starboardlight on July 20, 2006, 11:01:36 am ---yet, just asking works. of course, it doesn't work with strangers.
--- End quote ---
Lest you think I have NO tact whatsoever, if I don't know someone well enough to ask, I figure it's not really my business ;)
YaadPyar:
--- Quote from: Lynne on July 20, 2006, 11:21:52 am ---Lest you think I have NO tact whatsoever, if I don't know someone well enough to ask, I figure it's not really my business ;)
--- End quote ---
Y'know Lynne - I find that folks, when presented with someone who is genuinely interested, accepting and non-judgemental, are only too happy to share what everyone assumes should be a secret.
;)
starboardlight:
--- Quote from: Lynne on July 20, 2006, 11:21:52 am ---Lest you think I have NO tact whatsoever, if I don't know someone well enough to ask, I figure it's not really my business ;)
--- End quote ---
no of course. for the most part, stranger's sexuality is nobody's business but theirs, but there are exceptions. for me when I meet someone for the first time, and I'm thinking he's cute, should I ask for his phone number, it then become necessary to figure out his sexuality before I proceed. Asking point blank just won't do. That's where gaydar come in handy. I guess that's where gaydar is more than looking at someone's physical appearance. It takes some flirting to determine chemistry. It also takes some reading of body language. Does he get uncomfortable if I hold eye contact a bit longer? Does he move back if I stand a little closer than the usual distance? It's very subtle and requires me to be very sensitive to my own instincts. How does one describe how long is a bit longer when holding eye contact?
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