I've seen the personal replies to letters gay men have sent AP and they are very thoughtful, considerate, and compassionate. And these are handwritten letters. There are also men that she stays in contact with and encourages. In fact, she seems to me to be the embodiment of Mrs. Twist, understanding, perceptive, intuitive, long-suffering and patient. She harbors a deep anger, though, a righteous indignation, and a strong sense of justice and judgment.
Another reason that I believe AP is protective of her intellectual property is that she must be protecting the real life Ennis and Jack, and sees these fanfic publications as slanders against them and against the spirit of the real life people. AP has been married several times, and has three sons, and wrote for male oriented publications for many years, so I'm sure there is a real life Ennis somewhere.