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Holding the Man

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Kerry:
“Holding the Man”

by Timothy Conigrave


* Beware – Spoilers *

 It is easy to forget. To allow the memories of the relatively recent past to slide away to a possibly helpful distance.

Australia's experience of HIV/AIDS in the 1980s and '90s is thus ancient history, and so much of that time is gone: a time of the dead and the dying; vigil shifts at ward 17 in Saint Vincent’s Hospice; watching brilliant and beautiful men sliding into garbled dementia; polite efforts to avoid funeral scheduling conflicts; two full pages of obits in the Sydney Star Observer; anger and love and screaming horror at the waste of so many lives. Surprisingly easy to let all that go.

Timothy Conigrave's memoir, Holding the Man,  which I re-read during the recent Christmas holiday period, is an act of urgent remembrance, an unflinching, devastating, moving and funny reanimation of that awful time. It is also the true story of two people in love.

There's a famous slogan from that time: "knowledge equals power". It still does, but knowledge isn't just safer sex and treatment regimens. It's also knowing how the past helps prevent recurrence.

Holding the Man  is compelling, wrenching and essential. I laughed, and I wept. Put it on your reading list. It's an experience not to be missed.


Timothy Conigrave
Holding the Man  is the best-selling memoir by the Australian writer, actor, and activist Timothy Conigrave. It was adapted for the stage by Tommy Murphy in 2006, and has become one of the most successful Australian stage productions in recent years.

Holding the Man  was published in February 1995 by Penguin Books in Australia just a few months after Conigrave's death, and has since been published in Spain and North America. Holding the Man  won the United Nations Human Rights Award for Non-Fiction in 1995 and was listed as one of the "100 Favourite Australian Books" by the Australian Society of Authors for its 40th anniversary in 2003.

Holding the Man  tells the story of Tim's life, and centrally of his relationship with his lover of fifteen years, John Caleo. They met in the mid-1970s at Xavier College, a prestigious all-boys Jesuit Catholic school in Melbourne.


Tim Conigrave (L) and John Caleo (R)
The term "holding the man" comes from Australian rules football - it is a transgression that incurs a penalty. John Caleo was a star footballer at high school - captain of the football team - winning the Public Schools Best and Fairest trophy in 1976. He was also an avid supporter of the Essendon Football Club, one of the reasons Tim Conigrave appropriated the term as the book's title.

The stage version of the memoir, adapted by Tommy Murphy and directed by David Berthold, is one of the most successful Australian theatre productions of recent times and the winner of multiple awards. It premiered in 2006 in a critically acclaimed, sold-out season at Sydney's Griffin Theatre Company, Australia's leading new writing theatre, and became the company's highest-grossing production in its 30-year history.  The production returned for a further five, highly successful seasons in various theatres around Australia, including the Griffin Theatre, Sydney Opera House, Belvoir Street Theatre, Brisbane Powerhouse and the Melbourne Theatre Company.


Matt Zemeres as John Caleo (L)
and Guy Edmonds as Tim Conigrave (R)
in the Griffin Theatre production of
Holding the Man
Sydney 2006
The North American premiere of Holding the Man  was staged by San Francisco's New Conservatory Theater Center, September  - November  2007.

A New Zealand production was produced by Auckland’s Silo Theatre in August 2009.

Kerry:
The blurb from the back cover of Holding the Man:

"The mid-seventies - and satin baggies and chunky platforms reigned supreme. Jethro Tull did battle with glam rock for the airwaves. At an all-boys Catholic school in Melbourne, Timothy Conigrave fell wildly and sweetly in love with the captain of the football team.

So began a relationship that was to last for fifteen years, a love affair that weathered disapproval, separation and, ultimately, death. Holding the Man  recreates that relationship. With honesty and insight it explores the highs and lows of any partnership: the intimacy, constraints, temptations. And the strength of heart both men had to find when they tested positive to HIV.

This is a book as refreshing and uplifting as it is moving; a funny and sad and celebratory account of growing up gay."

Front-Ranger:

--- Quote from: Kerry on January 07, 2010, 07:39:36 am ---

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--- End quote ---

What a great cover and premise for a story! I'll look for this!

Monika:
Thanks Kerry, for bringing this to our attention.

As soon as I read your post I googled and read everything I could find on Timothy Conigrave.
I just have to get this book.

Berit:
And when you have read it, Monika, you can mail it to me...... :-* :-*

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