Oh, I found a list online about the 100 things that women do that can mark them "Undateable".
Ladies, you asked for it, here it is! This one is not ranked, it's just a list of 100 behaviors.
wears a ponytail on the date
car that resembles a messy closet
compulsively shops instead of paying bills
has a face piercing anywhere but the nostril
has bad credit
tattoos on their tits
tramp stamp
only follows sports because they have a crush on a particular player
gloats about how they screwed over an ex-boyfriend
goes to the gun range for a girls’ night out
gets regular colonics
cries without actual tears
asks a waiter to customize a entrée or sammich with complex instructions or unreasonable substitutions
has the same haircut that I do
flip flops
extensive animal print decor in dwelling
room dedicated to the color pink, hello kitty, or some other geek item
uses “Be a man” to provoke me into doing things that are clearly stupid
uses eyeshadow up to their eyebrows
over tweezes eyebrows or has them tattoo’ed on
over tan
unkempt hair
acrylic claws
wears mens’ clothing ala Ellen Degeneris
stuff their bras
bad boob job
demand that I accompany them to the mall while they go shopping
have a gay man for a best friend that spends all his free time with her
requires a team of stylists to get dressed
makes it obvious that she loves her pet more then she would ever love you
dresses to compete with other women
wants to go clubbing during the week when I have work
takes a brand name anti-depressant
roots for sports teams I hate
says at some point “Wait! Jews don’t believe in Jesus Christ?”
expects a level of fitness from me that she can’t maintain herself
makes me watch shows that I hate
never lets me watch shows that I love
brags about her bowel movements
brags about never having bowel movements
corrects my grammar incessantly
treats height as a personal choice
gigantic jewelry
wears spandex dresses with rips
still lives with parents because Daddy is loaded
doesn’t wear fashions from the current decade
grandma glasses
gets mad at other women for what they are wearing
color contacts
doesn’t get my pop culture references
dreadlocks (hair can’t be washed when its dreaded)
cares more about the girls I’ve dated then getting to know me
communist
unaware that she is a bad driver
doesn’t laugh, even when she sincerely finds something funny
falls asleep in the movie theater
tells me she tells her mom everything
tells me she’s a bitch
spends 2 hours on her hair each day, but lives in a messy apartment
keeps in frequent contact with ex-boyfriends
uses juggalo slang
faux British accent
buys female celebrity branded merch.
constant nitpicking of anything and everything
can’t deal if I go out without her and hang with my friends
can’t tell when she is not having her period
makes me listen to music I hate, especially in my own car
orders appetizers and then doesn’t eat the entrée
constant whale tail (thong that rides above waistline
thinks Dane Cook is funny, but Jim Gaffigan isn’t
says “Hell-oooooooooh?” if I take more then half a second to respond
Chain smokes
wears fingerless gloves
wears a wig, isn’t being treated for alopecia or cancer
hair extensions
expects me to pay for everything past the 3rd date
annoying regional accent
constantly badmouths her closest friends behind their backs
uses the n word in any capacity other then to describe another situation where the word was used.
in complete denial about her horrible singing voice
was on a VH1 show talking about all the stuff men do to be undateable
schedules dates around World of Warcraft raid times
secret criminal past
did porn
pronounces her a name a different way then its spelled, has the gall to have an attitude about it
stand-up comedian ( I am not going to be in that act)
believes in tarot cards and psychics
won’t tell me if I have something in my teeth or on my face
tells me how to eat my food
chews gum
has a hand-written list of qualities she is looking for in a man
flakes on plans, doesn’t think it’s a big deal
hasn’t taken off nail polish from fingers or toes in months
hates New York City
doesn’t shave legs or armpits, or lip if applicable
asks me detailed questions about my income
wears slogan t-shirts
bald by choice
can’t buy me a decent present when a holiday or occasion calls for it
owns more then two sex toys
