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Messages From The Heartland
jstephens9:
Hey David, yeah I saw your post in Fiona's thread too. I'm sure I probably said too much there and then I felt self centered. Anyway I was just letting you know that I can relate to what you are saying even though at this point I have not lost a parent. In some ways though I feel that I already did. I hope your father is doing ok.
David In Indy:
Thanks Kelda, Lynne and Jack! I appreciate your concern!
Dad is fine. But it sure was scary seeing him laying on the kitchen floor. This isn't the first time its happened though. We went through this very same exact thing when Mom was so sick. She'd constantly fall - it got to the point where she was nearly falling on a daily basis - and we'd sometimes find her sitting in a pool of blood. She had leukemia and her blood didn't clot properly. So it looked much worse than it actually was at the time. Now that Dad is beginning to fall, it is bringing back many flashbacks of Mom, and I suppose that is why (in part) I find it so scary.
Dad is beginning to get very frail now, but he's still a large man. Not heavyset.. just muscular. And it is hard to get him back up when he falls. Also, I guess I've always thought of Dad as so big and strong and I'm beginning to see him start to whither away slowly. He's also starting to forget things. Today he drove himself to the dentist (he can still drive short distances by himself) but later on after he got back home he couldn't remember going there. The other day as he was coming out of Kroger's he got confused and couldn't remember going in there. He knew he had though, because he had a sack of groceries with him. He's also starting to forget to pay his bills. Dad and I are going to the bank this week or next so I can be added to his checking accounts and credit card accounts. That way I have access and if he forgets to pay something, I can do it for him.
This is getting to be a lot of work though, with my own R/L, my job and now all of this, not to mention all the various family problems going on right now that must be sorted out from time to time. :P
Thanks again for your concern! I sure do appreciate it. Fortunately his fall the other day wasn't serious. Lynne, I think that is so sweet how you used to get into the bathtub with your Mom. I'm sure she appreciated that. Dad has his own shower stall in his bathroom, and he bathes himself. At least for now...
Kelda:
(((David))))
optom3:
David you have always been so very kind to me and although I have not lost a parent, I had to look after my mum and dad full time when my dad fell off the roof and smashed his hip.
I can only imagine what hard work it must be as the 3 weeks I had nearly drove me scatty. My mum is a full time hypochondriac and is so demanding I had hardly any time to look after my dad (who I adore) and who really did need help when he came out of hospital. My mum even conspired to be "more " ill then my dad so It was even difficult for me to visit him in hospital.
She refused to move in with me which would have made things a little easier, with a full time job, dad in hospital and 3 kids.
I am also so desperatley sorry to read you are having panic attacks, they are just the worst and I can only sympathise, nothing seems to make them go away.
I do not know how you manage trying to work, look after your dad and cope with your own issues, you must be worn out. It seems so unfair that you have already gone through so much with your mum. There must be a horrible feeling of deja vue.
Know that I am thinking of you and hoping you get some respite, at least from the panics. Sent with love and big hugs, you have been a really good friend and counsellor for me and if nothing else, I hope that knowing I am here with you in my thoughts helps a little. I know it always helps me. :)
Lynne:
--- Quote from: David In Indy on March 03, 2010, 01:24:14 am ---Thanks Kelda, Lynne and Jack! I appreciate your concern!
Dad is fine. But it sure was scary seeing him laying on the kitchen floor. This isn't the first time its happened though. We went through this very same exact thing when Mom was so sick. She'd constantly fall - it got to the point where she was nearly falling on a daily basis - and we'd sometimes find her sitting in a pool of blood. She had leukemia and her blood didn't clot properly. So it looked much worse than it actually was at the time. Now that Dad is beginning to fall, it is bringing back many flashbacks of Mom, and I suppose that is why (in part) I find it so scary.
Dad is beginning to get very frail now, but he's still a large man. Not heavyset.. just muscular. And it is hard to get him back up when he falls. Also, I guess I've always thought of Dad as so big and strong and I'm beginning to see him start to whither away slowly. He's also starting to forget things. Today he drove himself to the dentist (he can still drive short distances by himself) but later on after he got back home he couldn't remember going there. The other day as he was coming out of Kroger's he got confused and couldn't remember going in there. He knew he had though, because he had a sack of groceries with him. He's also starting to forget to pay his bills. Dad and I are going to the bank this week or next so I can be added to his checking accounts and credit card accounts. That way I have access and if he forgets to pay something, I can do it for him.
This is getting to be a lot of work though, with my own R/L, my job and now all of this, not to mention all the various family problems going on right now that must be sorted out from time to time. :P
Thanks again for your concern! I sure do appreciate it. Fortunately his fall the other day wasn't serious. Lynne, I think that is so sweet how you used to get into the bathtub with your Mom. I'm sure she appreciated that. Dad has his own shower stall in his bathroom, and he bathes himself. At least for now...
--- End quote ---
I'm very glad the fall wasn't serious, David. I don't know if my stories are helpful or not - if not, just say so and I'll let be. I think I've told this one before...
Before we realized that Mom really did need watching 24/7, I came home late from work about 10:00 to see my (now her) kitties milling about in the kitchen, fussing and mewling, and twirling around my legs. I immediately knew something was wrong because they always slept with Mom. And sure enough, she'd gone to the bathroom and slipped. She wasn't hurt that time and we bragged about the kitties being such good nurses. :)
No one has any clue how much work caretaking is until they have done it. And holding down a job and managing the rest of life's issues, as you say, can get near impossible. It sounds like you're doing all the right things. Try to squeeze in some time for yourself here and there if possible...you'll have more stamina and sanity that way.
{{{{{{David}}}}}}
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