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Alma's feelings for Ennis

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Rutella:
I always feel so sorry for Alma in the scene just before the reunion when she suggests they go out for the meal because she looks so hopeful and kinda excited. She is so happy that Ennis has a friend and it seems to fit into her idea of a happy life; there is potential for them to really join in some kind of social life. And she is so oblivious to the fact that Ennis seems WAY too excited to just be meeting up with a normal pal. And its that hopefulness that makes me hurt at the same time as I am sitting there desperate for Jack to come speeding up and to see the reunion kiss.

That I think is one of the really brilliant things about the film, (more than the short story I think, where Alma is hidden much more), that I can be rooting for our boys but still feeling Alma's pain. And it reminds me of what Diana Ossana said about how on the first reading of the story she saw Ennis' tragedy but on the second she saw the full extent of the tragedies for Jack, Alma and Lureen. 

serious crayons:

--- Quote from: Rutella on October 14, 2006, 11:51:06 am ---I always feel so sorry for Alma in the scene just before the reunion when she suggests they go out for the meal because she looks so hopeful and kinda excited. She is so happy that Ennis has a friend and it seems to fit into her idea of a happy life; there is potential for them to really join in some kind of social life. And she is so oblivious to the fact that Ennis seems WAY too excited to just be meeting up with a normal pal.
--- End quote ---

Really well put, Rutella! Alma is not my favorite character, but that is undoubtedly my favorite moment of her character. That hopeful smile, when she says "It's not too late to get a babysitter, take your friend to the Kife and Fork," is heartbreaking. She wants to be involved in this exciting reunion, and thinks a restaurant meal would make it particularly special. And what's almost saddest is that her smile doesn't fade, even after he rejects the idea!

opinionista:

--- Quote from: Penthesilea on October 02, 2006, 07:26:24 am ---But I do not believe that, at any time of their realtionship, Ennis was everything to her. The one love you desperately long for, the one person in the world you are meant for, the one person you can't live without.

I think it was the whole package she wanted: husband + kids + a nice place to call home + enough money to keep ahead of the bills = a 'normal' family life. And Ennis seemed to be the man who could give this to her. But somehow I have the feeling, she would have taken another man, too - if only he was likeable enough and promised her the said package.

This is supported by the story: how undramatic their marriage came to an end. No real trouble, just widening water, "...what am I doing, hanging around with him, divorced Ennis and married the Riverton grocer".

Doesn't sound like she was a heartbroken woman, destoyed by the realization that her husband didn't love her like he should.

Phew, I rambled a lot here, just let my thoughts flow. Bottom line is: I think Alma loved Ennis, but I do not think she loved him so deeply that he meant the world to her.

--- End quote ---

I think Alma loved Ennis and very much, she was in love with him.  But there other issues she had to consider when she knew her marriage was over, because once she had children she could not afford to only think about herself and her emotional needs. There are many people who think everyone should give more importance to love and less to money. Sure, that is very romantic and beautiful but is not realistic because no one can live on love only. And when you have children you have to think about feeding them, clothing them, schooling them and giving them the best future you can manage. And that becomes a priority in your life, no matter how much you love your spouse.

IMO, Alma's decision to divorce Ennis has nothing to do with her love for him, not necessarily though. I think she loved him and probably as much as Jack did, but there was no point for her to continue being married to a man who, to Alma's point of view, would not do his best to provide for the family or to be a part of the family. Alma also resented that Ennis didn't go on vacation with them. He didn't go out with them anywhere, and it wasn't fair. Sure she could've divorce him sooner, and stop being a doormat, but I don't think that was an option for a poor woman like her. Alma could not raise a family on her own. She didn't have the skills to get a well paying job, other than working odd hours in the supermarket. Even with Ennis's child support, Alma would have trouble making ends meet. She needed someone who could support her. And when she found him, she divorced Ennis. It may sound callous to a few, but that is a realistic scenario for many poor women with children around the world.

On the other hand, I think it's unfair to say that she wasn't heartbroken. IMO she was, but Proulx didn't describe her pain in a stereotypical fashion. Obviously we all expect a woman to cry a river for her man, to yell at him, to act angry all the time. But not everybody does that. Some people swallow their anger, and go on living letting their resentment grow inside them, until they can't take it anymore and explode like Alma did on the Thanksgiving scene, that is also in the short story.

Penthesilea:

--- Quote from: opinionista on October 14, 2006, 01:05:11 pm --- But there other issues she had to consider when she knew her marriage was over, because once she had children she could not afford to only think about herself and her emotional needs. There are many people who think everyone should give more importance to love and less to money. Sure, that is very romantic and beautiful but is not realistic because no one can live on love only. And when you have children you have to think about feeding them, clothing them, schooling them and giving them the best future you can manage. And that becomes a priority in your life, no matter how much you love your spouse.
--- End quote ---

Agreed to this. It assits my view on her feelings for Ennis. Whether she still loved him or how much she loved him (or not) later in their marriage, she didn't see another possibility for her to live. Until she had Monroe as backup. So her feelings for him may have died away (no wonder, I wouldn't blame her), but she still holds out in that marriage until she finds something better.

But I was more focussing on her feelings at the beginning of their relationship, before they married and in the early years (before she saw them). Maybe I wasn't very clear. I think she loved him - but I think she also would have loved any other man who was
- willing to give her the family package, the normal life she wanted
- and wasn't outright a mean guy.

Due to her time and upbringing, she had low expectations and was willing to endure much. I don't blame her for this in any case.
She sure loved him, but I just think he was never all the world to her (at no point of their relationship).




--- Quote from: Rutella on October 14, 2006, 11:51:06 am ---I always feel so sorry for Alma in the scene just before the reunion when she suggests they go out for the meal because she looks so hopeful and kinda excited. She is so happy that Ennis has a friend and it seems to fit into her idea of a happy life; there is potential for them to really join in some kind of social life. And she is so oblivious to the fact that Ennis seems WAY too excited to just be meeting up with a normal pal. And its that hopefulness that makes me hurt at the same time as I am sitting there desperate for Jack to come speeding up and to see the reunion kiss.

That I think is one of the really brilliant things about the film, (more than the short story I think, where Alma is hidden much more), that I can be rooting for our boys but still feeling Alma's pain. And it reminds me of what Diana Ossana said about how on the first reading of the story she saw Ennis' tragedy but on the second she saw the full extent of the tragedies for Jack, Alma and Lureen. 

--- End quote ---

That's one of the two scenes when I feel most sorry for Alma, too: before Jack shows up. That hopeful expression. The other one is when Ennis is heading out for their first trip. When she stands there with Junior in her arms and Ennis is saying "Come here", giving her a little kiss and briefly tousling her hair. She knows what will happen, how eager Ennis is to get out with Jack, but he is still sweet to her - that hurts.
I think this brief affection shows perfectly the tragedy for Ennis and Alma.

And what is also heartbreaking is the little waving she does, standing at the window, a few moments later.

bbm_stitchbuffyfan:
Bottom line for me, I agree with OP.

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