You have more class than I do. I would have come up with. ..."I wish I were ensconced in Dingle eating s**t upon a shingle. ..."
"I wish I were in Brustah eating chowdah like I usta."
I wish I were in Birmingham, Alabam... eating Spam with fried clam!
I actually like "SOS" as we used to call it.
Can it be a beverage?"I wish I were in Denver drinking daiquiris from a blender"?
I wish you were too! I wish y'all were!! My blender's available!
Meanwhile, I wish I were beside Lake Como, drinking a scotch--and then just one mo'.