The World Beyond BetterMost > Women Today
Woman decides full-time mothering isn't for her
Brown Eyes:
--- Quote from: milomorris on March 08, 2011, 11:52:45 pm ---
But nobody gets a paycheck for work-product that is consumerd only by themselves and their own families. If that were the case, men would be paid for fixing the roofs of their own homes, caulking their own windows, changing their own oil, etc.
Makes no sense.
--- End quote ---
For better or worse, there have been economists including John Maynard Keynes, who in the past have argued that wives and mothers should be compensated financially for the work they do. It's a lot of labor that goes unrecognized in economic terms... and that by and large benefits men... since in not paying their wives, they (the husbands) don't have to pay others to do the work that they require to carry out their own lifestyles.
Please note that I'm commenting on this as a lesbian who does not believe in marriage as an institution. But, it's an interesting argument.
Kelda:
--- Quote from: atz75 on March 08, 2011, 10:11:44 pm ---
My Mom is not subtle about putting pressure on me about my choice not to have kids (at least so far) and I'm 35 and a lesbian... so the odds are very slim really.
--- End quote ---
Mothers around the world eh!?
My Mum is itching to have new grandkids. Both my Mum and my sister are ALWAYS making comments about when I'll have kids.. and then my nieces have heard it so often that they ask when they'll have cousins too.. this ramped up further when we moved to a bigger house back in August with three spare bedorroms:
"Wow Kelda - this would be a perfect nursery" "That space beside the front door would sit a pram nicely" etc etc...
So, around that time I told them that every time they mentioned me having kids I would add 3 months to my internal timeframe for thinking about starting to have a family.. that seems to have been fairly successful in warding off the annoying comments, given within the first few weeks I think I had about 3 years added on!!
:laugh: :laugh:
I have to say My sister is the worst and my oldest niece. My Mum has been quite good since my little talk.
I would say that any woman who has thought about the situation and taken the decision not to have kids is not so much selfish as more more self aware. Which is why this case is interesting to me.. I'd be inclined to say the woman in the article is far less self aware.
Kelda:
--- Quote from: Marge_Innavera on March 08, 2011, 11:02:36 pm ---As someone who's childless by choice, I've concluded that some use 'I'm too selfish to be a good parent' because it ends the conversation right there.
--- End quote ---
Agreed. I've said that - or the classic line: "I have enough trouble looking after my cat never, mind a child!"
serious crayons:
--- Quote from: milomorris on March 08, 2011, 11:52:45 pm ---But nobody gets a paycheck for work-product that is consumerd only by themselves and their own families. If that were the case, men would be paid for fixing the roofs of their own homes, caulking their own windows, changing their own oil, etc.
Makes no sense.
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: atz75 on March 09, 2011, 01:24:13 am ---For better or worse, there have been economists including John Maynard Keynes, who in the past have argued that wives and mothers should be compensated financially for the work they do. It's a lot of labor that goes unrecognized in economic terms... and that by and large benefits men... since in not paying their wives, they (the husbands) don't have to pay others to do the work that they require to carry out their own lifestyles.
--- End quote ---
Domestic work, especially caring for one's own children, carries benefits beyond one's own family that our culture exploits but does not compensate. For example:
-- Most good jobs require working at least 40 hours a week; some many more than that. In many jobs, the "ideal" employee is one who is available for work whenever necessary, can travel on short notice, etc. This is incompatible with raising children. If one spouse is caring for kids while the other is working a demanding job, then the working partner as well as his/her employers are benefiting from the caregiver's labor.
-- Our schools, among other institutions, rely on unpaid volunteer work performed during daytime hours, usually by people who are also proving unpaid caregiving at home. If those people weren't around, the schools would have to hire people to do those jobs and taxes would increase.
Well, you might argue, why not just not have kids? Then everybody could be available for their jobs 24/7 and there would be no need for schools at all. Of course that's a hypothetical extreme -- people will continue to have children no matter what (outside of some science-fiction scenario). But also, an aging population depends on the availability of younger people: to contribute to Social Security, to innovate, to operate the nursing homes and assisted-living facilities.
Marge_Innavera:
--- Quote from: Kelda on March 09, 2011, 05:36:31 am ---Agreed. I've said that - or the classic line: "I have enough trouble looking after my cat never, mind a child!"
--- End quote ---
Yes; but the "I'm too selfish" schtick gives the listener a nice little glow of totally unearned superiority.
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