Phoenix, I hope today was a good day for you. I feel for all the pain you've been going through lately. It's just always that way the first time you really fall in love.
I remember it so well. How I went over to Tom's just because I couldn't stand to be doing anything but walking towards him. And sat out in the hall outside his apartment because I was afraid he wouldn't want to see me, just happy to be close to him even though he didn't know I was there. Planning to leave quietly and go back home as soon as I could make myself. And how he finally came out suddenly and saw me, and was so surprised and gracious and worried that I had been outside and not knocked. And invited me in. And how that moment was the sweetest in my life till then, and made up for so much other worry and loneliness before and after.
Just hang in, it is really going to get better. As the school year goes along and you keep seeing your friend at school, those feelings will gradually make a place inside you that is as big as they are, so they aren't so squeezed and painful when they start to swell up.