The World Beyond BetterMost > The Culture Tent
What Happened???
RouxB:
--- Quote from: delalluvia on February 13, 2012, 08:11:46 pm ---But yes, it falls back into the issue of parents continuing the cycle of behavior and attitude.
These kids obviously did not have parents who were strict with them or focused on imbuing in them a sense of self-responsibility and the importance of education. My house, what music we listened to was strictly regulated. If my parents didn't like it, we didn't listen to it. We didn't like that rule, our ability to listen to the music at home was taken away. Same for TV. Those pants? Who bought them for the kids? Parents did. Again, my parents also had a say in our wardrobes. They didn't like it, we didn't get it. That only changed when I started working and making my own money, then my parents helped me along with money management by no longer providing me with day to day essentials. They didn't keep feeding me for free or doing my laundry for free, or paying for gas for the car or insurance. That stopped and I had to pay for it myself, so my funds were always limited and thus I had to make hard decisions on what I wanted to spend my money on.
Obviously these parents are falling down in the raising of their children, but perhaps only because they were the same way.
--- End quote ---
I agree Del. Things get out of hand-got out of hand- because parents loosen control. I talk to friends who have pre-teen and teen daughters and they have a totally different (from me) idea of what is appropriate dress for their girls. Primarily because all the other girls are wearing the same thing. Never would have happened in my house.
I was a pretty quiet kid, not rebellious at all because I didn't feel rebellious and because I was pretty sure my mother was not gonna tolerate any kind of behavior. I went away to college at age 17 having been very sheltered, and I still didn't go buck wild because it just was not, has never been, my personality. No sex, no drugs, a whole lot of rock and roll. I have always felt this responsibility to "represent" and making a fool of myself was not going to get that done.
serious crayons:
--- Quote from: delalluvia on February 13, 2012, 08:11:46 pm ---But yes, it falls back into the issue of parents continuing the cycle of behavior and attitude.
These kids obviously did not have parents who were strict with them or focused on imbuing in them a sense of self-responsibility and the importance of education. My house, what music we listened to was strictly regulated. If my parents didn't like it, we didn't listen to it. We didn't like that rule, our ability to listen to the music at home was taken away. Same for TV. Those pants? Who bought them for the kids? Parents did. Again, my parents also had a say in our wardrobes. They didn't like it, we didn't get it. That only changed when I started working and making my own money, then my parents helped me along with money management by no longer providing me with day to day essentials. They didn't keep feeding me for free or doing my laundry for free, or paying for gas for the car or insurance. That stopped and I had to pay for it myself, so my funds were always limited and thus I had to make hard decisions on what I wanted to spend my money on.
Obviously these parents are falling down in the raising of their children, but perhaps only because they were the same way.
--- End quote ---
First, I should clarify that I myself am actually talking about all of kids these days, not just the kids in the photos early on in the thread. So that includes kids like mine, who live in a middle-class neighborhood and go to school with mostly middle-class kids (though also some very rich kids and some poor kids). So the following is going to be from a white, middle-class POV. I realize that many of my problems are different from and milder than those of parents in poorer communities. But there may be some commonalities.
My own kids do some of those things you all don't approve of. For example, they sag their pants and they listen to music I don't like. I suppose it is technically possible for me to try to stop it -- although keep in mind that there's no way for me to control the music they listen to when I'm not there, or for that matter on their iPods. As a single mom with two teenage sons, one of whom has behavioral issues, my life is already full of constant conflict over all kinds of different things. Do I want to add several other sources of conflict to my life in order to police what our culture doesn't bother policing? No, I don't. So I pick my battles. Sagging pants are not my favorite look, but they're the least of my problems.
Parents when we were young simply did not have as many challenges as parents today. Here are just a few of the ways that our culture has changed since you and I grew up:
-- When I was a kid, there was nothing on TV that wouldn't have been perfectly appropriate for a seven-year-old to watch. Now there are things I don't even want myself to see.
-- When I was a kid, we did not own a box in the study through which one could view any imaginable form of pornographic imagery, buy illegal and synthetic drugs (some of which can kill you), have conversations with strangers, and get into who knows what other kinds of trouble.
-- As I said before, the most shocking music ever got in my youth was very veiled references to sex and drugs. Now well-known, popular musical artists in average pop songs brag about crime and drugs and describe sex acts with no holds barred. And not only does nobody bat an eye, but those artists are hugely successful and critically celebrated. For example, here is a sample of the song "Bitch Suck Dick" by Tyler the Creator of Odd Future Wolfgang Kill Them All, who has been admiringly profiled in, among other places, the New York Times and the New Yorker, whose concerts are well-reviewed by mainstream publications. Tyler is 17 years old. This song is not at all unusual for Odd Future -- it's quite typical of their lyrical stylings:
--- Quote ---[Intro: Jasper]
Aww shit
Three icy ass niggas from Odd Future doin' some crazy shit
By the way, we do punch bitches
[Verse 1: Jasper]
I'm swagging bitch, I'm iced out
Oh you mad bitch cause I'm laying on the couch
Smoke a blunt, fuck a bitch, in the butt, I'm bossing
Don't give a fuck, I never roll Slauson
I'm fly bitch, I should poke you in your eyelids
Got the burner bitch, bow, bow
You dead bitch, I'm hot as fuck
I ain't never cold, but I'm icy bitch
[Hook]
My bitch suck dick like she suck dick
[Verse 2: Tyler]
Got the bops in the house, socking bitches in they mouth
See my neck iced the fuck out (I'm getting money nigga)
At the fucking mall, 40 bitches on my nutsack
I pulled up on a mothafuckin' unicorn (I'm getting ponies nigga)
Wolf Gang nigga scream that 'till they mothafuckin' show me death
Golf Wang nigga, Free Earl better show some motherfuckin' respect
All this ice around my neck, all this ice around my dick
Gun to her head make your bitch massage my shoulders
[Hook]
[Verse 3: Taco]
Shut up bitch, suck my dick (Suck my nuts)
You fuckin' bop, you better swallow it
I got a chain with a fuckin' platinum plaque on it
Is that a hundred dollar bill? I'll shit on it
I bought a fuckin' whale, cause I'm ballin'
Your bitch work for me, she my dish washer
Swag on my dick, 30 thousand million, nigga
[Hook]
[Verse 4: Jasper]
You boppin' bitch (Question mark) You like this dick?
We all know why, cause you's a boppin' bitch
I got the burner, I pop you in your lip
Zoom-zoom, yeah, I'm going fast bitch
I'm loud as fuck, I'm ignorant
Punch a bitch in her mouth just for talkin' shit
You lurkin' bitch? Well, I see that shit
Once again I gotta punch a bitch in her shit
I'm icy bitch, don't look at my wrist
Because if you do, I might blind you bitch
Mount Everest ain't fuckin' with my fuckin' wrist
Fuck global warming, this the Ice Age bitch
[Outro]
Swag, swag, punch a bitch
--- End quote ---
http://rapgenius.com/Tyler-the-creator-bitch-suck-dick-lyrics
Parents of teenagers these days are already dealing -- to one degree or another -- with alcohol and drug use, pregnancy, STDs, cutting, eating disorders, truancy, trying to prepare their kids for colleges that are increasingly expensive and exclusive (the university in my state used to admit literally almost anybody -- now the average GPA is 3.72; it used to cost a couple thousand a year, now it's about 12 times that). Not to mention whatever problems the parents themselves may have with unemployment, health insurance, etc. Now, I realize that few of these problems are brand new, but some of them are worse now than they were in our youth.
When people say some variation of "it's up to the parents," what they're doing is pointing the finger somewhere else so they can let themselves and society off the hook. What they're doing is increasing the stress in the already stressed-out average family exponentially.
I'm not advocating censorship or laws against this stuff. What I'm saying is that the problem is far more complex than just overly permissive parents. What I'm saying is that it takes a village, and in our era the village has stopped taking any responsibility and has instead become part of the problem.
RouxB:
My best friend growing up had a very religious, but very fun and spontaneous, mother. We had the best time growing up together as we both had some challenges-she with an alcoholic father and we with the only divorced parents in our circle of friends. As my friend aged she became more bound by her religious beliefs but remained a joy to be around. She had one of the best parenting styles of any one I have ever seen. Her girls are now 20 and 24. She was loving and affectionate but also very clear in her expectations. Well, her youngest decided in her second year of college to shack up with her boyfriend. This did not go over well with her parents. They cut her off financially. Told her if she was adult enough to live under a man's roof then she was adult enough to figure out her own way. My friend hadn't seen her child in a year and was heart broken but refused to back down. I totally admire her for this because she set up some rules and expectations that were very clear. The problem with many parents today is that they are unwilling to take the hard line.
Remove the cell phones, the mp3 players, the TVs the cash.
Maybe I watch too much Dr. Phil and Supernanny...
Luvlylittlewing:
K, I know I said that parental failure is to blame for the way some of these kids are turning out, but I'm talking about something else, entirely. I'm looking at Oakland and some of the neighborhoods therein, and I see parents who are absentee, drug addicted, abusive. This is the kind of parental failure I'm talking about, not responsible parents like you who are doing their level best to raise their kids. I know full well the challenges of today's parents, because I am a single mom. I've felt so overwhelmed at times, but I've managed to put my daughter first, and I believe I've raised a pretty awesome young lady. If I was strung out on drugs, out with a different guy every night getting high while my daughter raised herself, well, then, I'm a failure as a parent, IMHO.
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: delalluvia on February 13, 2012, 08:11:46 pm ---Obviously these parents are falling down in the raising of their children, but perhaps only because they were the same way.
--- End quote ---
I think this is an important point. I think we're now into at least the second generation of people who themselves "had no raising" failing at raising kids.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version