Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
For Our New Members: Brokeback Mountain Stages of Grief & Acceptance
loneleeb3:
Well, It's been over a month and I am still grieving. I guess thats what you would call it.
Grieving for what though I'm not quite sure.
Am I grieving for the boys and their lost chance at true love, true happiness, the hurt and pain they constantly lived with, their longing for somthing that they would never have? Or, am I grieving for those same things within myself.
Lost chances,lost love, pain, anguish,despair, fear. Fear of never finding true love, true happiness, fear of life passing me by. It's hard to tell. Probably more of the latter.
Alls I know is that I hear the songs on BBM radio and I cry, I see the movie, I cry, I read the story, I cry.
If I think about the message of the movie I'm overwhelmed with emotion. Sometimes I even find it hard to breathe.
I feel like the sheep Ennis found after the first night in the tent together. My insides have been ripped out and left me empty.
I guess if their is a bright side I'm now just waiting to be filled up again. It's just proving to be a long journey to the fillin station. :-\
Artiste:
Thanks Lee!
Yes, I guess you and I, plus others, do all that, too much grief if that is what it is called!
The film tells us of violence against gay men!! Too, of course, there is love between two men.
Will society ever accept gay men? So we can also accept ourselves? Are those good questions?
Hugs!!
Sammi:
What a great post. Being a new person to this movie and in the early stages it is actually sad to read the stages I will be at next. There is something about that stage 4. Something is off in my life that makes me connect to this movie. Wow - very insightful post. I will be thinking about this a lot now.
Brown Eyes:
--- Quote from: Sammi on November 27, 2009, 11:25:31 pm ---What a great post. Being a new person to this movie and in the early stages it is actually sad to read the stages I will be at next. There is something about that stage 4. Something is off in my life that makes me connect to this movie. Wow - very insightful post. I will be thinking about this a lot now.
--- End quote ---
Welcome to BetterMost Sammi. :) You're certainly among people here who understand what you're going through and your reactions as a newcomer to the movie.
I'm jealous of you actually... I remember the super exciting early days of being a Brokie. BBM was all I could think about and I was desperate to talk about it all the time with folks who understood. There's certainly lots to discover about the film and the story. So definitely have fun. And, it is true, I think, that the ways the movie/story impacts each serious Brokie can be very personal and pretty profound.
BBM_victim:
Actually i had this idea of such a thread, too. It's nice to see that there was one from early on already. (My idea also included advises of experienced Brockies for overcoming the stages, though.)
I am not sure which stage i am in. Currently after about 4-5 months i am still very interested in all details, interpretations, interviews... But i am also already at piece with the ending (although the story itself surely continues to be extremely tragic and sad).
I do live through the days as if in a fog. A Brokeback-Mountain-fog. The thoughts about it are in the foreground and everything else keeps popping up but then inevitably disappearing back into it.
The other day i had a thought that this movie made me feel things which were so real and true and of such high intensity that after they were gone i was left with a huge void and bleakness which made me feel sad and tired. It's not the story and the message itself (sure it is in a way), but the effect it had on me. It's difficult to put this in words.
I think the beauty of the nature in this movie (including all according sounds! especially sounds!) contributes to the feeling of this void. Living in one of the biggest cities in the world, surrounded by concrete, rushing people, artificial sounds, all that high-tech fast-living society, just makes me feel even more tired of all of it. The "simple life" of when i was a kid was much happier, much more connected with nature... I found myself now wanting to go camping, having some really warm feelings towards a picture of a tent in a catalog!!! :laugh: ::) :P
I do see parallels to my own life. I do feel stuck at the moment, also being scared of doing something against it - much like Ennis must have felt, too. So, i console myself that for everything there is a right timing. And if i am not able to change anything at this moment, then it just means that i / the situation is not ready for a change yet. So, somehow i try to "distract yourself until you can forget about it", although i don't think i want to forget about it.
Anyway, looking forward to what this experience might lead me to! :D
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