How does one begin a journey of a thousand tales? Perhaps, as in all things, it is best to begin at the beginning, or at least at the first moment when everything was different, or started to lead in a much different direction. The Superb Event, the moment in which everything became clear would not be for some time. In fact for most of the year 2005, I had never even heard of the film event known as Brokeback Mountain.
Instead, much of my spiritual energies were devoted to comprehending the magical majesty of the Unicorn. This infinitely powerful symbol of spiritual manifestation in the physical plane was first and foremost in my mind: the innocent creature of beauty that seeks out life's meanings.
To this end, I devoted myself hand and foot to reading every fantastic or romantic tale that I could find and even turned to the writings of C.S. Lewis and the Chronicles of Narnia for whatever spiritual wisdom was present in the Guise of the Unicorn. That helped me little though I could appreciate the simplistic beauty of the Christian Ideal expressed in those stories. It was not what I was looking for.
It should be noted that the years before, I had devoted myself to the philosophical beauty of the Lord of the Rings trilogy film event, whose archetypes and moments of intricate, detailed beauty flowed together into a fantastic merging of wisdom in the inner mind - the spiritual quest to discover the meaning of self by sacrificing our bondage to the physical world, however difficult that event may be.
So in the latter months of the year 2,005, I devoted spiritual devotion to The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe - promoting and adhering to a vision that this world would be as detailed and as beautiful as that of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and that an acknowledgement of the archetypes presented in a flawlessly performed film event would lead to moments of philosophical elation and discovery of the inner mind, much as The Lord of the Rings had. I visited the website numerous times, looked at trailers, clips, and making of videos, ordered posters and other promotional materials, dreamed of seeing the detailed work of the WETA workshops - the magnificent costumes and creatures which might bear some resemblance to those which cavorted with and fought against the noble and divinely infused Unicorns.
So much of my spiritual life was spent waiting for that film and expecting its majesty to sweep over me, much as had The Lord of the Rings trilogy, that I remember those months as a blur... waiting, waiting, waiting for some event which might deserve or warrant spiritual devotion.
When the moment to see the film finally arrived, I was excited, hyped, and eager to discover the magical wonders that no doubt awaited me.....
I left the film disappointed..... The truest acting I could discern was that of the White Witch, a character I fell in love with almost immediately. Aslan's voice did not even seem to be coming from the lion, and there were times when the music drowned out the voices of the actors.
It is strange to think that I might have been secretly cheering for the White Witch army, knowing that it represented dark and villainous ideals and the stagnation of the human spirit, both in a world of ice and in the transformation to stone by the Witch's magic wand. But that may have been because the "good" army seemed just as stagnant or repressed as an army frozen in time or spirit. That may have been a flawed performance, but as such, the experience of the film (and any hope for archetypal wisdom) was ruined for me.
One cannot go through life hoping that Villains will win and restore malicious governments, the cruelty of the mind can elicit unfavorable transitions in physical and spiritual beings, causing more harm to the psyche than might be thought possible. I was even more appalled by the religious activists who used the film to spread the Christianity-based intolerance. This above all made me seek out more secular wisdoms. I turned away from religion altogether, hoping to find some understanding of God or Man which would not require indoctrination or the sacrifice of one's soul upon an Altar of Piety.
But perhaps, more importantly than that, I was searching for something that was beautiful and undeniably so, Something that could offer meaning and direction to a life which has thus far been a calvalcade of the winds of Fate. I continued to search for the spiritual significance of the Unicorn - this innocent and perfect being that kept appearing in my dreams. To date, I have found little to help me on that quest - only a single book addresses it directly and it has long been out of print: The Mission and Meaning of Unicorns. Dragons, demons, wizards, fairies, abound in mythological literature but I can find little reference to what makes a Unicorn so significant or what it has to do with the purpose of my existence.
From: The Mission and Meaning of Unicorns:
Unicorns! It is hard to explain the feelings that these beautiful symbols of truth, purity, innocence, trust, strength and courage arouse in some of us. It's not just that we love them like we love teddy bears, it is almost as though we were them, we identify with them very strongly. Perhaps that is the great secret, we are unicorns. They symbolize a better self that we have almost forgotten, so lost are we in this world, the world of humans. I believe that unicorns really do exist and that you might be one. How do you know if you are a unicorn? First of course you probably love unicorns without really understanding why, but the most important way to tell is how you feel deep down inside. It is almost as though unicorns were a separate race of humans, for they are so different in how they think and feel. They do not look different on the outside, and come in all races, shapes and sizes, and can be male or female. But one unicorn can sometimes spot another very quickly. There is a gentleness, a sensitivity, a love of truth and beauty that shines through to the outside....
[...] They often feel alone, because they have a hard time understanding or relating to non-unicorns. Some truths are so obvious to them (such as the love and respect for all life) that they cannot understand why everyone does not feel the same as they do. They sometimes feel out of place as if they do not really belong to this world (a stranger in a strange land). It is only in relating to other unicorns that they feel the rush of soul to soul, heart to heart communication and feel like they really belong.
They love the truth, and although they might lie occasionally, they are very bad at it and feel terrible about it. They are very hurt when someone lies to them or tries to decieve them in any way. They are very honest about their feelings, and expect others to be the same. If they say they love you, you can know that they really mean it. [...]
Unicorns love beauty, and want to be surrounded by it. They are constantly doing little things to make their homes more beautiful. They are not out to impress others, but love beauty for its own sake. They have a strong sense of sacredness, and hate anything that is crude or demeaning. They do not consider crude or racial or ethnic jokes funny. They hate quarreling and sometimes hide their true feelings to avoid conflict. They are peacemakers and will try very hard to help others get along. They yearn for an ideal world where everybody loves everybody.