Last night we were down in the basement and noticed there was a cricket up in the globe of a floor lamp. We undid it and walked him outside and "freed" him to be with the other crickets.
I says: "Can you imagine the tale he is gone tell the other crickets?"
"All my life they promised me, go to the light and your going to have sex! Well, I went all the way to the light, I was there, you couldn't get any closer to the light than I was and there was no sex going on, there were no other crickets there, just a dead moth and some dust!"
And all the crickets in the neighborhood turned nihlistic and filled up on cheesecake.