The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
Katie77:
Bob calls his buddy Sam, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse.
Sam asks "How will I recognize him?"
"That's easy, he's a midget with a speech impediment."
So, the midget shows up, and Sam asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.
"A female horth." So he shows him a prized filly.
"Nith lookin' horth. Can I thee her eyeth?"
Sam picks up the midget and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.
"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?" So he picks the little fella up again and shows him the horse's ears.
"Nith earzth, can I see her mouf?"
The rancher is gettin' pretty irritated at this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nice mouf, can I see her twat?"
Totally ticked at this point, the rancher grabs the midget under his arms and rams his head as far as he can up the horse's twat, pulls him
out and slams him on the ground.
The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing. "Perhapth I should rephrase that; Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit?"
Katie77:
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they
> decide she'll become a hooker.
> She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says,
>
> "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks.
> If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner."
>
> She's not there five minutes when a guy pulls up and says,
>
> "How much? She says, "A hundred dollars." He says
>
> "Shit. All I've got is thirty." She says,
>
> "Hold on." She runs back to Harry and says,
>
> "What can he get for thirty dollars?"
>
> Harry says, "A hand job".
>
> She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty
> dollars is a hand job. He says okay, she gets in the car, he
> unzips his pants, and out pops a Simply HUGE male unit.
>
> She stares at it for a minute, and then says,
> "I'll be right back." She runs back around the corner and says
> breathlessly,
>
> "Harry, can you lend this guy seventy bucks?"
>
Katie77:
I promise....last one for the day......
SAD TALE
A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an
hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink
and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts crying.
'Come on man. I was just giving you a hard time,' the biker says. 'I didn't
think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying.'
'This is the worst day of my life,' says the little guy between sobs.
'I can't do anything right.' I overslept and was late to an important
meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my
car was stolen and I don't have any insurance.
'I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with
the gardener and my dog bit me.
So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to
my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison!'.
Kerry:
--- Quote from: Katie77 on September 10, 2007, 10:49:54 pm ---"Harry, can you lend this guy seventy bucks?"
--- End quote ---
:laugh: ROTFL, Sue! Absolutely ROTFL! :laugh:
Kerry:
This just proves that we have become too dependent on our computers. ::)
Are you male or female? To find out the answer, look down . . . . . . :o
. . . . . .
. . . . . .
. . . . . .
. . . . . .
. . . . . .
. . . . . .
. . . . . .
. . . . . . Look down, not scroll down, ya dork! ::) ;) :laugh:
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version