The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
dot-matrix:
George Bush and George Bush were dragging a deer they had just shot back to their truck. Another hunter approached, pulling his alongside theirs.
"Sirs, I don't want to tell you how to do something," he said, " But I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer the other way. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."
After the third hunter left, George and George decided to try it. A little while later George said to George, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"
"Yeah," said George, "but we're getting farther from the truck. ::)
dot-matrix:
Al Gore, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush go to heaven, and God addresses Al first. ''Al, what do you believe in?''
Al replies: "Well, I believe that I won that election, but that it was your will that I did not serve. And I've come to understand that now.''
God thinks for a second and says: "Very good. Come and sit at my left.''
God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?''
Bill Replies: "I believe in forgiveness. I've sinned, but I've never held a grudge against my fellow man, and I hope no grudges are held against me.''
God thinks for a second and says: "You are forgiven, my son. Come and sit at my right.''
Then God addresses George.
"George, what do you believe in?''
He replies: "I believe you're in my chair."
Kerry:
Katie77:
A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her
husband, "I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
He never heard the shot....
pettifogger:
The husband has just finished reading a book entitled,
'You can be the man of your house.' He stormed out to
his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on,
you need to know that I am the man of the house, and my
word is law."
"You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight and when I have
finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.
"After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will
have the kind of sex I want.
Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You
will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe
"The you will massage my feet and hands and fluff my pillows
and make me comfortable for a good night's sleep.
Then tomorrow, guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?"
The wife replied, "The local funeral director would be my first guess."
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