The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
Kerry:
:laugh: Hee-hee! Love it, Geri! I laughed out loud! :laugh:
Here's one of my favourites:
Nestled safely within the bosom of her village, deep within the Veneto, Maria was making preparations for her forthcoming wedding day.
She had always been a “good” girl and had no experience of men. She was, therefore, understandably nervous about her wedding night and voiced her concerns to her mother, at every opportunity. Mama was an old fashioned kinda gal, who always responded in the same way to every one of Maria’s questions, “Do your duty by your husband, Maria!”
And so Maria’s wedding day came to pass. There was a beautiful ceremony in the village church, followed by a lovely reception in her parent’s home. After the reception, Maria and her new husband retired to one of the upstairs bedrooms. They would be living with Maria’s parents until they could save enough to buy their own home.
As Maria and Rocco began to undress, in preparation for bed, Maria saw, to her surprise, that Rocco had hairy shoulders.
Much distressed, she rushed downstairs to her mother, exclaiming, “Mama, Mama, he’s-a got-a big-a hairy shoulders!”
“Go back upstairs and do your duty,” responded her mother.
Returning to her bedroom, Maria saw Rocco had completely removed his shirt and that he had pierced nipples.
She again rushed downstairs, shouting, “Mama, Mama, he’s-a got-a rings-a in his nipples!”
Mama responded, “Go back upstairs, Maria, and do your duty.”
Maria again returned to her bedroom, to find that Rocco was sitting on the edge of the bed, where he had just removed his shoes and socks. She was startled to see that he had a club foot!
Again rushing downstairs, Maria threw herself into her mother’s arms, sobbing, “Mama, Mama, he’s got a foot and a half!”
To which her mother responded, pushing Maria aside and bounding up the stairs, taking them two by two, “Step aside, Maria, this is a job for Mama!”
Arad-3:
HaHaHaHa!!!!
This is a job for Mama, I just love it!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Arad-3:
A little girl and a little boy were at daycare.
The girl approached the boy and said, "Hey, Stevie, wanna play house?"
He said, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"
The girl replied, "I want you to communicate."
He said to her, "That word is too big. I have no idea what it means."
The little girl smirked and said, "Perfect. You can be the husband."
Kerry:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Geri, I wonder why women and gay men are so good at communicating, whereas straight men are so bad at it. ??? ;) :)
Kerry:
Don’t Mess with Grandma!
This arrived in my in-box at work today. The original was presented as a newspaper clipping. Made me laugh!
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four men in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, “I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car..!!” The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station. She told her story to the sergeant, who couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman, described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. If you’re going to have a Senior Moment, make it a memorable one!
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