The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
dot-matrix:
Visiting the Gallery of Modern Art in Glasgow, a lady from Kelvinside turned to an attendant standing nearby.
"This," she said disapprovingly, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?"
"No, Madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror." :o
dot-matrix:
Children's Science Exam answers.
These are real answers from school kids.
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep
and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because
there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts- the brainium, the borax, and the abdominal cavity. The brainium
contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels,
A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby. (I do love this one...)
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome .
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight
Kerry:
And this is the real Andrew Johns (L), the greatest Rugby League football player of all time IMHO. And certainly the cutest! Sigh, be still my beating heart! ::) ;) :D
Katie77:
Yes, he is a honey, Kerry........and the one of the greats.....
Kerry:
--- Quote from: Katie77 on January 16, 2008, 07:37:40 am ---Yes, he is a honey, Kerry........and the one of the greats.....
--- End quote ---
He sure is a honey and that's the truth. Gorgeous. :)
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