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Kerry's Komedy Klub

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Kerry:

--- Quote from: Katie77 on March 10, 2008, 07:12:30 am ---An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!

'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?'

The Irishman nodded...'I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.'

'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor.

'No, from the f**kin' skippin'
 
 

--- End quote ---

 :laugh:       :laugh:       :laugh:

Kerry:

underdown:
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.
She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'
The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?'
'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'

underdown:
A Polish immigrant went to the Motor Registry to apply for a driver's license, and had to take an eye sight test.
The optician showed him a card with the letters   'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
'Can you read this?' the optician asked.
'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

Katie77:
A dwarf with a lisp visits a stud farm.

'I'd like to buy a horth', he says to the owner of the farm.

'What sort of horse?' asks the owner.

'A female horth,' the dwarf replies.

So the owner shows him a mare.

'Nithe horth,' says the dwarf, 'Can I thee her eyeth?'

So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horse's eyes and puts him down again.

'Nithe eyeth', says the dwarf, 'Can I thee her teeth?'

Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horse's teeth and puts him down.

'Nithe teeth... may I now see her eerth?' the dwarf says.

By now the owner is getting a little fed up, but again picks up the
dwarf to show him the horse's ears and then puts him down.

'Nithe eerth,' he says. 'Now... can I see her twot?'

'With this, the owner picks the dwarf up, and, holding him by the
scruff of his neck and the back of his belt, shoves his head deep
inside the horse's vagina. He holds him there for a couple of seconds
before pulling him out and putting him down.

The dwarf shakes his head and says, 'Perhaps I should weefwaze that:

Can I see her wun awound?
 

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