The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
underdown:
If at first you don't succeed ... maybe tightrope walking is not your best career choice.
underdown:
A husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with a strange man.
'What the hell are you doing' he shouted angrily.
To which his wife said to her lover...
'See, I told you he was stupid.'
underdown:
A man was sorting out his old clothes, checking pockets in those for the charity bin, and came across a ticket from a shoe repair shop.
The date stamped on the ticket showed it was 11 years old.
Next morning, he went to the shoe repair shop and, with a straight face, asked for the shoes.
The shoe repairer looked at him with an equally straight face and said 'Just a minute, I'll have a look'.
Afte much rummaging around in dark corners at the back of the shop, he called out 'Oh, yes, here they are'.
The man called back, 'That's terrific. I was a bit worried they wouldn't be here after all this time'.
The repairer came back to the counter empty handed, and said calmly ..
'They'll be ready Thursday'.
underdown:
A young, trainee reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first solo assignment.
He came back and submitted his article to the editor.
'No, no, no, James', said the editor. 'This says "Mrs Smith was injured in a car accident today, and received severe lacerations to her breasts".
'This is a family paper. We can't use words like "breasts". Go write it again, without that word.'
James came back a few minutes later, and proudly showed the editor his revised version.
"Mrs Smith was injured in a car accident today, and received severe injuries to her (.) (.)"
underdown:
A ventriloquist set up shop, but was having trouble attracting customers.
His friend suggested 'Why don't you try seances That's where all the money is, these days.'
So, the ventiloquist completely re-decorated his shop and put up a new sign that read ..
"Seances .. $25, $50, and $125".
A woman came in soon after, and asked if she could talk to her dead husband.
'What do I get for $25?', she asked.
'Well, said the ventoliquist, 'for $25 you can talk to your husband.'
What do I get for $50?' she asked.
Well, for $50, he will talk back to you', replied the ventiloquist.
'Wow, and what do I get for $125, then?' asks the woman.
'For $125, you get to hear your husband talk back to you while I drink a gass of water.'
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