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Kerry's Komedy Klub

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dot-matrix:
An Irishman and an American were sitting in the bar at Shannon
Airport. "I've come to meet my brother," said the Irishman.
"He's due to fly in from America in an hour's time It's his first
trip home in forty years."

"Will you be able to recognize him ?" asked the American.
"I'm sure I won't," said the Irishman, "after all, he's been away
for a long time."
"I wonder if he will recognize you?" said the American.

"Of course he will," said the Irishman. "Sure, and I haven't
been away at all."

dot-matrix:
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of
Guinness and sits at the back of the room, drinking a sip out
of each glass in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back
to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches
and tells him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, and
it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm in Dublin.
When we all left home, we promised we'd drink this way to
remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for
each brother and one for me self."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it
there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always
drinks the same way.

One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other
regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to
the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want
to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences
on your loss.

The Irishman looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light
dawns and he laughs. Oh, no, everybody's just fine." he explains.

"It's just that me wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had
to quit drinking. Hasn't affected me brothers though !!"

dot-matrix:
An elderly couple had been dating for some time. Finally, they
decided it was time for marriage. Before the wedding, they
went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how
their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on.
Finally the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the
subject of their physical relationship.

"How do you feel about sex ?" he asked rather trustingly.
"Well," she says, responding very carefully, "I'd have to say
I would like it infrequently."

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment. Then looking
over his glasses, looked her in the eye casually and asked,
" Was that one word or two words ?"

Kerry:

I'm a little behind in reading my Time magazines but will try to catch-up over Easter and post more topical cartoons shortly.  ;)   :D

Kerry:

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