The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
Kerry:
Kerry:
Katie77:
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.
A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate.
The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note:
Dear Sir,
Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.
The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.
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Katie77:
......and while we are on the subject of wooden legs.......heres a few "McCartney" jokes......
News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. 'He has been my crutch for so long'! She said in an earlier briefing, 'I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped'
After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down on One Knee again - Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather.
Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause. 'Macca couldn't handle it anymore' a friend said, 'he would get home at night and find her legless'
Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.
Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:
I lay upon a grassy bank My hands were all a quiver I slowly removed her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river
dont blame me.....i dont write em...I just send em on....
Shasta542:
Boobie Hubblebutt!!! LOL.
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