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Kerry's Komedy Klub

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Kerry:

Kerry:

dot-matrix:
An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following
conversation ensues :
Man : "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years,
children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.

Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hich-hiking. We
went to a motel where I had sex with each of them three times."

Priest : "Are you sorry for your sins"

Man : "What sins ?"

Priest : "What kind of Catholic are you?"

Man : "I'm Jewish."

Priest : "Then WHY are you telling me all this ?"

Man : "I'm 92 years old. . . . I'm telling everybody."

dot-matrix:
Father O'Malley answers the phone. "Hello, is this Fr. O'Malley?"

"It is."

"This is the Tax department. Can you help us?"

"I can."

"Do you know Ted Houlihan ?"

"I do."

"Is he a member of your congregation?"

"He is."

"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"

"He will."

dot-matrix:
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet
dog for company. One day, the dog died, and Muldoon went to
the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could you
be saying a mass for the poor creature?"

Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not, we cannot have services
for an animal in church. But there may be some Baptists down
the lane, and there's no telling what they believe. Maybe, they'll
do something for the creature."

Muldoon said, "I'll go right away, Father. Do you think $5,000 is
enough to donate to them for the service"

Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary. Why didn't you tell me
the dog was Catholic ?"

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