The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
David In Indy:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
dot-matrix:
dot-matrix:
A kid walked up to a guy wearing a 10-gallon hat, leather vest, leather chaps, and sneakers. The kid asked him, "Mr. Cowboy, why do you wear that big hat?"
The cowboy replied, "Well, son, the big hat protects me from hot sun and driving rain, and at night I put it over my face when I sleep on the range, so it protects me then, too."
"Why do you wear that leather vest?" "It also helps to keep the weather off me, and it has pockets where I can keep my valuables."
"Well, why do you wear leather chaps?" "They protect my legs when I'm driving my horse through mesquite and cactus."
"Well, Mr. Cowboy," the kid finally asked, "Why do you wear sneakers?"
"That's so somebody won't think I'm a damn truck driver."
dot-matrix:
Two Cowboys from Texas were sitting at a bar, when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped and gagged, and one Texan turned to the other and said, "That little gal is havin' a bad time. I'm gonna go over there and help."
He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his big, Texan hands, and asked, "Kin ya swaller?"
Gasping, she shook her head no.
He asked, "Kin ya breathe?"
Still gasping, she again shook her head no.
With that, he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her panties and licked her butt. The young woman was so shocked that she coughed up the piece of hamburger and began to breathe on her own.
The Texan sat back down with his friend and said, "Ya know, it's sure amazin' how that hind-lick maneuver always works."
dot-matrix:
COWBOY WISDOM
1. Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.
2. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
3. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
4. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
5. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
6. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
7. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
8. Don't squat with your spurs on.
9. Always drink upstream from the herd.
10. There are three kinds of people: The ones that learn by reading, The few who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to touch the fire to see for themselves if it's really hot.
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