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Kerry's Komedy Klub

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dot-matrix:
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors.

The waiting room was filled with patients.
 
As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large un-friendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.
 
He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, 'YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?'

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.
 
He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'


DON'T MESS WITH OLD FOLKS.   ;D

Kerry:

Katie77:
Little Bruce and Jenny are only 11 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so  Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, 'Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.'

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing and so adorable,  Mr. Smith replies,'Well Bruce, you are only 11. Where will you two live?'

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies,'In  Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.'

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, 'Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job.  You'll need to support Jenny.'

Again, Bruce instantly replies, 'Our allowance. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine.'

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Bruce has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Bruce won't have an answer to.

After a second, Mr. Smith says, 'Well Bruce, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you.What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?'

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says,  'Well, we've been lucky so far.'

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.

southendmd:
I heard a limerick today that I wanted to share:

There once was a man named Clyde,
Who fell through an outhouse and died,
Along came his brother,
Who fell through another,
And they both were interred side by side.

Kerry:
Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark
One: Don't miss the boat.

Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.

Three: Plan ahead.  It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.

Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

Five: Don't listen to critics. Just get on with the job that needs to be done.

Six: Build your future on high ground.

Seven:  For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

Nine: When you're stressed, float a while.

Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

Eleven: No matter the storm, there's always a rainbow waiting at the end.

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