The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
dot-matrix:
--- Quote from: David on April 22, 2007, 03:48:33 am --- :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
That was a good one Dottie!! :laugh: :laugh:
Kerry, WHERE are you!!! Dottie is doing everything but clean the toilets around here at your club.
We miss you buddy!!! :'(
Let's see some more of that Australian humor (humour) you are so famous for around here! :)
In the meantime, we will continue to appreciate Dottie's contributions. :D
--- End quote ---
Thanks David, glad you like the jokes buddy :D
Yes Kerry we MISS you very much :'( come back when you can
Uh and guys I been meaning to talk to you about those toilets...
Kerry:
Hi Dottie & David :D
Thank you for minding the store for me. My apologies for not being as attentive as I should be lately. Mea maxima culpa. Got a lot on right now. And there's never enough (never enough) hours in the day. It's getting on to midnight here and I really should be in bed. Got to be up again at 6 in the morning. It's tough being a public servant in this town! :laugh:
Thank you for all your wonderful contributions, Dottie. And I owe you big time for keeping the bathroom so squeaky clean! I gotta say, though, if I wasn't pee-shy before I approached that big, beaming, bright-red, lip-glossed urinal, I sure was as I stood in front of it! Yikes, that thing looks like it's about to take a biiiiiig bite outa me, and I don't like to think of what part of me that bite's coming from! Shudder! :o ;) :laugh:
The following was an attachment that came with the monthly newsletter from my work's IT Dept today. Who says IT people don't have a sense of humour?! And guess what, Dottie, your namesake gets a mention! ;) ;D
(for best viewing, save it to your harddrive and maximise it)
I love you guys! :-* :-*
Kerry
(in Oz)
Kerry:
To commemorate her 69th birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was "My Favorite Things" from the legendary movie, "Sound Of Music".
Here are the lyrics she used:
Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Cadillac's and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.
When the joints ache,
When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.
(Ms Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.)
Lynne:
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Julie Andrews has class! Thanks for posting that, Kerry! Glad to see you back!
dot-matrix:
A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. What the heck," he says to himself,
"I really need a drink."
When the gay bartender approaches, he says to the cowboy, " What's the name of your willy?"
The cowboy says, "I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink."
The gay bartender says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you untill you tell me the
name of your willy. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan " Just
do It". That guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because "It really Satisfies."
The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he
will give him a second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting
to his left who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?"
The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX".
The thirsty cowboy asks "Why Timex?"
The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a licking' and keeps on tickin!"
A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fella's on his right, who happen
to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you guys call yours?"
The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because "Quality is
Job One". Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?" The guy next to
him then says, "I call mine CHEVY,
Like a Rock". And gives a wink!
Even more shaken, the cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for
his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my willy is SECRET.
Now give me a beer."
The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look and asks, "Why Secret?.
The cowboy says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version