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Kerry's Komedy Klub

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Kerry:

Katie77:
Husband Wanted:

A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again.   

She put an ad in the local paper that read:

'HUSBAND WANTED:- MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),  MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME  & MUST  STILL BE   GOOD IN BED!!!!!     ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.'

On the second day, she heard the doorbell.

Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair.

He had no arms or legs.

The old woman said, 'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you...you have no legs! '

The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot run around on you!'

She snorted. 'You don't have any arms either!'

Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I  can never beat you!'

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, 'Are you still good in bed???'

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, 'Rang the doorbell, didn't I?'
 

Kerry:

Did you hear about the Latin Professor who called into a bar for a drink?

"What'll it be?" asked the bartender.

"A martinus," said the professor.

"Don't you mean martini?" asked the bartender.

"If I wanted more than one I'd ask for more than one."

Boom-boom!

southendmd:
I'm no Latin scholar, but I love your new avatar, Kerry.

"Pone ubi sol non lucet."

Put it where the sun don't shine. :laugh:

Kerry:

--- Quote from: southend mavericky md on October 29, 2008, 07:28:50 am ---I'm no Latin scholar, but I love your new avatar, Kerry.

"Pone ubi sol non lucet."

Put it where the sun don't shine. :laugh:

--- End quote ---

Haha - the "sol non lucet" is a bit of a giveaway! I've changed it to "Pulvis et umbra sumus" ("We are dust and shadow") because I was afraid "Pone ubi sol non lucet" may be thought somewhat rude. Maybe I should change it back. The Horace is maybe a little too heavy.

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