The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
Kerry:
David In Indy:
I am typing these, so please forgive any typos. I hope none of them are repeats...
SISTER MARY ANN'S GASOLINE
Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting home bound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a Texaco gasoline station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned.
Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.
She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted a bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline and carried the full bedpan back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said "If it starts, I'm turning Catholic."
Katie77:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Well done David......
David In Indy:
One day Farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil, then stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.
Now he had a problem - how to carry all of his purchases home. The livestock dealer said "Put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand."
"Thanks" said the farmer and headed off towards home.
While walking, he met a fair young lady with a rather large beautiful super-structure. She told him she was lost and asked "Can you tell me how to get to the nearest highway?" The farmer replied: "I'm going to visit my brother near there. Let's take a short cut and go down this alley. We will save time in getting there."
The fair young lady said, "How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull down my skirt and ravish me?"
The farmer said "I'm carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against a wall and do that?"
The young lady said "Set the goose down, put the bucket over near the goose, put the anvil on top of the bucket and I'll hold the chickens."
David In Indy:
Why Computers Sometimes Crash
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and the system's gonna crash.
If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, then you may as well reboot and go out wit a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, that sucker's gonna hang.
When the copy to your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM, then quickly turn the bugger off and be sure to tell your MOM!
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