The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
dot-matrix:
::) 8) ::)
fritzkep:
"Birdie, birdie in the sky,
Why'd you do that in my eye?"
dot-matrix:
Huntin' Bears
Frank was excited about his new rifle. So, he went bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned round to see a big black bear.
The black bear said "You've got two choices. I either maul you to death or we have sex."
Frank decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it. There was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.
The grizzly said "That was a huge mistake, Frank. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough sex."
Again, Frank thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it would take several months before Frank finally recovered.
Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder.
He turned round to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear said "Admit it, Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
dot-matrix:
A nun catches a ride in a taxi. As the taxi is going along, the nun notices that the cab driver keeps looking at her in the rearview mirror.
She says, "What is it my son?"
The cabbie replies, "Oh, I'm too embarrassed to say, sister."
She says, "Please, feel free to say anything, I've been a nun for many years and not too many things surprise me anymore."
The cabbie says, "Well, I've always had this fantasy of getting a blow job from a nun. I'm sorry sister, I feel so ashamed."
"That's OK my son, I know well the needs of the flesh. I will do it on two conditions: one, that you are Catholic and two, that you are not married."
The cabbie says, "Yes on both conditions!" So they drive around the corner to a spot where the nun takes care of the cabbie.
As they continue on their way, the nun notices the cabbie is crying.
She says, "What's wrong, my son?"
He says, "Sister, I lied. I'm Jewish and I'm married!"
She says, "That's okay. My name's Steve and I'm on my way to a costume party!"
:o So Busted
dot-matrix:
Top Ten Jerry Falwell Pet Peeves About TV
10. Angels Shouldn't Go Around "Touching" Anyone
9. Mister Rogers' sissy loafers.
8. "Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane" are lesbian, gay, gay and lesbian.
7. Bastards at MTV didn't even look at my "Road Rules" audition tape.
6. If you don't pay the bill on time, Playboy channel gets all fuzzy.
5. Fox won't even consider "World's Wildest Baptism Accidents"
4. History Channel only presents negative aspects of Spanish Inquisition
3. I'm busting my ass on public access while some joker in a glass church is getting Super Bowl numbers
2. Why don't Scully and Mulder "do it" already and get it over with
1. Dick Van Dyke
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