The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
Kerry:
--- Quote from: dot-matrix on May 11, 2007, 03:42:40 am ---A beautiful woman is sitting on a train with an empty seat next to her. A cowboy dressed in a Stetson hat and fancy boots saunters over and says, "Pardon me, ma'am, do you mind if I sit here?"
The woman looks up at him and says, "I most certainly do! Cowboys are disgusting! I hate cowboys! Cowboys are mean, crude, vile, and uncouth! I'll tell you something else I know about cowboys. Cowboys will screw *anything!* Cowboys will screw sheep, they'll screw cattle, they'll screw dogs, they'll screw lizards, they'll screw chickens-"
Suddenly the incredulous cowboy asks, "*Chickens?!*"
--- End quote ---
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Absolutely hilarious, Dottie! One of your best! I'm laughing out loud here in Sydney, Australia! :laugh:
David In Indy:
--- Quote from: Kerry on May 11, 2007, 08:14:52 am ---
I'm not exactly sure if this is funny or not. "Uranus" always makes me laugh; even in a serious, scientific treatise ! :laugh:
--- End quote ---
I think just about everyone finds it funny, Kerry. Once when a lady was charting my horoscope, she told me "Mars is in Uranus".
:laugh: :laugh:
dot-matrix:
<a href="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fwww.smileycentral.com%252F%253Fpartner%253DZSzeb008%255FZNxdm824JGUS%2526i%253D15%252F15%255F8%255F209%2526feat%253Dprof/page.html" target="_blank">[/url]For as long as any one could remember this one old Indian named all the children in the villiage. So one day a young brave walks up to the old man and asks him; "Old man how do you name all these children? How do you come up with the names for so many? The old man replys: "Young brave I name these children as the great spirt shows me, If I see snow gently falling I say to that child you shall be called Snow Gently Falling, and if I see a Hawk that flys above I say to that young one you shall be called Hawk That Soars above. Then the old man looks at the young brave and says, "And you Two Dogs Fucking why do you ask?"
dot-matrix:
A lady's car broke down in the desert, to her relief an Indian rode past and ask if she’d like a ride to town. He helped her up on the horse, and said hold on. She put her arms around his waist and off they went. Frequently, on the way, the Indian let out a loud Yeeee Haaaww!
When they got to town he dropped her off at the garage, as he rode away he let out another Yeeee Haaaww!
The lady asked the mechanic: "What’s with the Indian and Yeee Haaaawww?
Mechanic replied, "dunno, what’d you do?"
"Nothing" she said "just put my arms around him and held on to the saddle horn."
"Lady" :o said the mechanic, "Indians don’t use saddles." ::)
dot-matrix:
COWBOY WISDOM
1. Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.
2. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
3. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
4. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
5. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
6. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
7. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
8. Don't squat with your spurs on.
9. Always drink upstream from the herd.
10. There are three kinds of people: The ones that learn by reading, The few who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to touch the fire to see for themselves if it's really hot.
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