The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
Kerry:
--- Quote from: dot-matrix on May 23, 2007, 11:35:42 pm ---Monkey Portraits
--- End quote ---
Hmmm, that monkey at top-right looks a lot like my ex! :o I mean that as a compliment y'all! ;) :D
Kerry:
--- Quote from: dot-matrix on May 24, 2007, 06:24:28 am ---THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
--- End quote ---
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
That's another one I'd better not tell the Boss!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Kerry:
--- Quote from: dot-matrix on May 24, 2007, 06:29:30 am --- FOR THOSE BORN BEFORE 1986
--- End quote ---
Loved this, Dottie! I am a proud Baby Boomer, myself! :D
dot-matrix:
While I was "flying" down the road yesterday
(i.e., 10 mph over the limit),
I passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a
radar gun on the other side laying in wait.
The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car,
and with that classic
patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked,
"What's your hurry?" To which
I replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" "I'm
a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The cop was stammered, "A what? A rectum
stretcher? And just what does a
rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one
finger, then I work my way up to
two fingers, then three, then four, then with
my whole hand in I work side to
side until I can get both hands in, and then I
slowly but surely stretch,
until it's about 6 foot wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot
asshole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a
radar gun and park him behind a bridge....."
dot-matrix:
On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Scotsmen and 1 Scots woman
One month later on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in menage-a-trois.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean and another long look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming.
The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy /liquor store / restaurant/laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store.
The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because the American woman keeps on complaining about her body, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, the necessity of fulfilment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.
The two Scotsmen set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whiskey. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version